Tamara Willems

Autumnal that’s a funny word…

(I would like to dedicate this post to my friend Diana Beach,  who I know as I write this, is right here with me …)

Autumnal Equinox:  The point at which the Sun’s path crosses the celestial equator moving from north to south is called the autumnal equinox. The days on which an equinox falls have about equal periods of sunlight and darkness.

So there it is, this is what I am thinking about today,
darkness and light

This morning as I look out the window
I marvel at how the sunlight shines through a gorgeous bit of Virginia creeper
turned a pale scarlet colour by the changing season
the light seems to shine right through
gorgeous delicate beauty
I am no photographer, but I think how wonderful it would be
to capture this beautiful

I am feeling sort of wistful I guess, on the fault lines of darkness and light
of course still a little saddened by the loss of my beloved turtle
as I buried him in the back garden, I said to him
I’m sorry James, I am…    so, so…     sorry
(probably to ease my own heart)
as well as not nearly enough time with my husband, who is again,
working extra hours and opposite mine
never seems to wear well on me
also, all week I have been watching Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s documentary series
The Vietnam War
not entirely my usual fare, although I do love documentary
normally I wouldn’t choose to watch war and all the atrocities involved
by choice, at any time
as I know well just how this will sit in my
heart and start to
but it is exactly that, the human aspect presented so brilliantly by the great Ken Burns
that draws me in,
there are many things I don’t understand about humans
and our reasoning or justifications for violence against
each other
and it repeatedly breaks my heart for everyone involved here
for all of
I always say to my husband if history was taught by Ken Burns’ documentaries alone,
I would have learned so much more

This morning I think about the mercy of a living gratitude
and how I wish to stay always in
the light of this
so that I can offer my own little bit of
to heal the world in some way …
a virtual hug just where you need it
or at least my attempt
to brighten
my little corner
of it

I listen to a beautiful meditation by the imminent Br. David Steindl-Rast
whom I truly do love,  his beautiful, kind, peaceful spirit
the meditation is on the practice of grateful living
the sound of his voice, and the ethereal weight of his words
soothe me,
and bring me to my place of peace

I can feel

“So you think this is just another day in your life? It’s not just another day. It is the one day that is given to you…today. It’s a gift.  It’s the only gift that you have right now, and the only appropriate response… is gratefulness. ” ~ Br. David Steindl-Rast

maybe the learning
is this
Permanent Impermanence
seasons change, and life changes and
it is not perhaps how we
so desperately hold on to the light

but instead our own brilliance is
in just how

so I walk in the sunshine, and I fill up with light
sure I recognize the darkness
and I feel this too
but I choose grateful living
in hopes that this
is what I will always have
to offer

that this light is always what spills

and gratitude

Today is your gift,
bless someone’s day ♥

Might I just add an addendum to this post – I am always ‘on the look out for signs of Love’. As yesterday I found a small stone in the shape of a heart at work, and I slipped it into my pocket. Just now, as I am coming back from the library, I spot a larger smooth stone in the shape of heart sat up on a large rock, when I pass by – I don’t pick it, (as I have just received an email from my husband to say that he has made reservations for 2!) 
Instead, i put some Love into this stone, in hopes that it will find it’s way to you!  

Leave a Comment