Tamara Willems

when the world gets heavy…

I haven’t had much time for writing lately,
this starts to weigh on me a bit
traffic jams of words have piled up
at my ears,
partially muffling sounds
and inside my chest a moth repeatedly bounces against
a screen

I have been, I guess you could say,  a little heartsick
or rather,  a lot
my very dear friend, had a barn fire last weekend and suffered a very great loss
and I have felt kind of helpless in just how to ease her pain
although the expression  ‘soul mate’ is bandied around rather loosely these days
and because of it’s over-use
it is one that I am not really fond of
(as I think it starts to lose any actual
meaning)
this friend,  I would say is indeed, a very true mate
of my soul
she is lovely and kind
gentle and often quiet
she is smart and she is strong
in many ways that I am
not
and she is very
true
this friend offers me in this world,  ease
it seems we didn’t so much as meet,  but instead instantly recognized each other
as a very great exhale
as in,  ah  there you are…
we have both been married the same number of years
and put great stock in our unions
we both have four children
and we mother in much the same ways
we have many things in common and also
many things to learn from
each other
she blesses my life enormously
and I am sure to tell her so
so,  this week I have been putting my energies into
sending her all the love I can, to offer support
and any comfort I can possibly give to somehow help ease her through
great tragedy
as life at times can be rather
tough to bear
I believe one should never, ever have to
go
it
alone

on a day as I start to write this, I share a visit with someone dear to me
whose heart has been squashed a little
who is feeling kind of bruised and battered
fragile, possibly foolish
and I try my best with kindness and with love to plump it back up
and to gently put it back
in its rightful place,  restored
soft and strong

and this has me thinking, as most things do
of the gift of choosing a life of great
gratitude
and just how very important we are
to each other
in our connections, in our caring
how very necessary it is to be loving and kind
and not too caught up in our own
stuff
to notice
when someone could use a squeeze
to their spirit
as I document very well here, I am not the kind of friend who is constantly in contact
I am somewhat guarded with my own space
and the ‘invasion’ of such
I don’t use the telephone ..  like..   ever
but I do hope I am a good friend,  in my own way
I am here and if you are in pain,  I am genuinely sending all the love and kindness
I can muster,  in your direction

this is precisely why I live a life of intention
of love
and of gratitude
I collect it,  so that…   I can share it

because I am quite sincerely always grateful
to you
my friend

we are indeed blessed in this world to have
each
other
and at all times,
we really need
to

hold on to that  ♥

“So, if you are too tired to speak,
sit next to me,
because I,
too,
am fluent
in silence. “
               ~ R. Arnold 

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