Tamara Willems

who cares about you…

This little story is kind of long,  and it’s going to start with a rant,  about my computer
but bear with me, if you will – as I do have a point..

So I need a computer doctor,  badly.  When I returned to work after about 20 yrs at home raising my family,  I was so happy to receive my first paycheque.  I had already decided,  I would buy myself a new computer.  I don’t know much about the inner workings, but I rely heavily on my ‘outside’ communications with the world.
On the advice and guidance of a pretty wonderful friend, I got myself a lovely little laptop and I was thrilled. No more waiting forever for the old dinosaur to boot up, only for boxes to pop-up saying this or that could not update.  I pressed power and it was on,  ready to go.  Amazing!
(I would like to insert here:  I am not old)
I love my laptop, purchased with my own money,  I start to leave behind my scribbled bits of paper, that are quite soon illegible to even me.   I cherish it’s convenience,  it is a vital connection and I look after it well.  Or so I thought.
However, after some kind of an update,  it started dropping my wifi connection frequently.  Annoyingly!
Causing me to constantly restart to get my connection back.
This proves to be really, really frustrating, especially when I am in the process of writing and/or editing something I have written.  Anyway, now it seems to be getting worse and I am forced to restart more often,  wasting my valuable time and brilliance (ha! ha!) ,  and mostly just causing me to shake an angry fist at my cherished little computer.
(and yes I should also insert here, I do have a phone..  but I am not there yet on using that tiny screen, and these rather large seeming fingers for these kinds of things ..  and again  I am not old.)
To further illustrate my frustration, let me say as you may well know,  one of my other loves in life is reading.  But you see, when something in a book I am reading takes an unexpected and frustrating turn, or say your bookmark falls out and you lose your page – you can throw said book!  (of course I would never do such a thing ..  as books can be delicate creatures)
I cannot however,  throw my laptop..   now can I?
And it’s making me so angry!!!!!
So,  I restart, and I restart and I…
re …  start…

now,  if you are still with me,  what I want to say is this ..  Who cares?
Who cares about my little problem with my little computer?

As I have written in an earlier post, I have a very dear friend who is now dealing with the aftermath of a devastating barn fire.  Worries of how, when and even if it will be possible to rebuild a life her and her husband have been building for twenty plus years are weighing so heavily on them right now, that each day I am on the look-out for cracks.
And I so wish there was some way that I could somehow alleviate even the tiniest bit of this weight, and just lay it down..   somewhere else.. for a while.

I cannot not care about this.

The other day in the store after a long day at work,  my friend is in to purchase more medicine to treat some of her goats that have been badly burned – but are still alive.  In front of her at the check-out a woman is ranting loudly and angrily that the peanut butter she has a rain check for is not on the shelf.  This goes on for quite some time,  and my friend who now spends most days holding back a vast pool of tears, and is somehow soldiering on through complete mental and physical exhaustion has to turn away from this –  as not to confront this woman on the ridiculous magnitude of her f#*** peanut butter problem!!!

Who cares about you,  waiting in line behind me?

Someone else I care about has just lost his job.  The victim of a ‘downsizing’ of sorts.  A job that he loves and as someone with a brain injury,  a job where he felt like ..  he fit,  just right.
A victim of bad timing, and unfortunately to my thinking,  someone else’s short sighted-ness, and very vocal rather childish self-absorption.

Who cares about you,  you’re interrupting my day.

Who cares?  Who cares?
Who cares if you are currently fighting a health crisis?  Who cares if you are mourning the loss of a loved one? Or possibly just facing a loss?  Who cares if you are battling addiction, or not yet ready to acknowledge it?  Or your unhappiness, who cares?  Who cares if you have had to flee a country in conflict, trying just to raise your family, or keep them alive?  Who cares if you are being abused, being persecuted, being forced against your will?  Who cares if your child is struggling or hurting or missing? Who cares if you are in pain, or alone, or …  waiting.
Who cares?
Who cares about you?

I do.
I simply cannot NOT care.

I care about you.

That’s it, that’s the end of my rant,  or my story, or whatever..  that’s what I wanted to say  – to you this day,

if you’re still here,  (and if you are,  I really am grateful that you’re still here)
just maybe,
take a pause, right here
right now
and
please,  look outside yourself,

and
care

about kindness

then,  take a deep breath
and
restart  ♥

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