Tamara Willems

in all the monkey chatter…

Repeatedly on play in my head these days
is a very real need for me to reduce
things
things in my house
things in my body
and often, things
in my head

humidity is returning, it’s sticky and kind of uncomfortable
this type of weather makes allergens hang in the air
thick and concentrated
my nose runs, my throat and ears itch and my vision is
blurry
I am so far refusing to wear reading glasses all the time,
as most times I am sure it’s just my allergies (and most certainly not
my age)
humidity in the air makes the house feel stuffy
and closed in
while I am most grateful for central air, a few days in a row
and I start to really want the windows open
I cherish the freedom
to breathe

we’ve lived in our beloved house for just about 23 years
moved in with two little toddlers in tow
which quickly became four
and so with all the accumulations of six humans,
plus assorted furry members of the family
as well as housing and rehousing, then losing parents and
grandparents (situational accumulation)
the added sentimentality of me  (I’m sure I’m not the only one)
and our combined penchant for books
it feels like we just have a lot of
stuff

and again,
I cherish the freedom
to
breathe

also I am feeling sort of sloth like
yet, not always in a good way  (I love sloths)
I have not been attending to my yoga practice
not riding my bike
walking only a little
often, I sit
too much

I am thinking about a friend,
and a health crisis
a heart crisis
the great strength of spirit
our willingness to be open
and also about
love

this week,
I am tired, and things ache
at the store I see, ‘anti-aging soap’
and this both baffles and annoys me
how the heck is this a marketing tactic
always aimed at women
how could soap – anti age??
and why is it we are all so against aging
it is a natural occurrence (like it or not)
why are we so encouraged to fight against it
to not accept our own natural beauty
at any stage
I believe in our knowing-ness of ourselves age increases our beauty
not decreases
of course I know the answer to this –  money
it’s just about making money
still
it annoys me that we fall for this rubbish
buy into it
and while I have absolutely no wish to
anti-age
in simple terms of my own ability to support
and appreciate my body, to feel good in it
as well as honour it
I am quite certain, I can do better than this
current state of
me
(only effort is needed)

before anyone gets the urge to cheer,
these are the goals
while here I
sit
house full,
body soft

but
with good intentions!  (smile)

so how about then to balance things out
I look to increase

things I would like to increase include
my gratitude, joy, kindness
caring
knowledge and wisdom
I would like to increase my ability to respond
to suffering
with
love
and compassion
I would like to increase my abilities to invoke a peaceful mind
and should I look in the mirror
a peaceful
reflection
and always, always I would like to increase LOVE

while I am thinking about all of this this morning,
I go out to gather the post
as I open the door
there it is
waiting on my doorstep
as if by appointment
just a little
love

it’s all I need really
freedom to breathe
reducing my worries
increasing my
heart
(silencing the monkey chatter)
one little reminder

it’s really all I need   ♥

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