Tamara Willems

mercy, mercy me…

When yet again even one soul cries out for mercy
how then can we not
respond..

I am very attached to words, in sounds and in print
in stories, and poems and in lyrics
how they come together, to form a kind of magic
how they can reveal in the gentlest of ways
or strike us at sharp angles
how they can offer us .. to ourselves
in shadows, in mirror and in light
how they connect,  our minds and hearts
and indeed us
to
each other

just recently my daughter introduces me to a song,
that she has been playing at high volume
upstairs as she gets ready for the day
instantly I am struck by the rawness and true beauty
of the lyric
in its vulnerability to speak the truth
and just how painfully it begs to sit
in my heart
this song is called Sober by Demi Lovato
a song about addiction, loneliness,  powerlessness and failing
but too,  a song about honesty and realness
intelligence, bravery and
hope
and to my thinking true strength
in trying again

Yesterday I come in from work hot and weary
this week I’ve been feeling very, very tired
rather nonchalantly,  I check in with my kids, look at notifications on my phone
and I see,  “Demi Lovato hospitalized after H” (end of click bait sentence, that I can see)
“What’s up with Demi?” , I say to my girls, hardly looking up
“Suspected heroin overdose”,  they tell me
a quick intake of breath, I stop
immediately my hand goes to my heart,  and I can already feel it starting
to break

Today I can feel the weight of someone else’s pain
gnawing away inside
and the tears just behind my eyes
not even someone I really know
but with addictions in my family, and addictions in my
friends (few of us escape it entirely)
I am painfully aware of its true cruel nature
the struggles and pitfalls that go with
as well as the great strength, courage and tenacity
that it takes to
overcome
one very remarkable day at a time

I am sad
I am sad for this girl who feels this kind of pain
this loneliness, this kind of
unworthiness, this struggle
this sense of
failure (yet again)
and the need to say sorry for things out of one’s control

does it not become our own kind of failure
to watch someone fall
and not
at the very least
care

I am not a ‘thoughts and prayers’ kind of person
it feels so overused as a sort of
‘bought the t-shirt’ kind of thing
but I am indeed thinking of Demi Lovato today
and I am holding her in my heart
and from here I am offering love and kindness
to surround her

and also to you,
wherever you are in your struggles
in life
I am wishing you well
I am wishing you strength and courage
and
hope
for trying again..

for better days

as yet one more struggling soul cries out for mercy
how can we
not respond?

it is with Love
with gratitude
and with Kindness

I do hope
this finds you ..  ♥

 

Demi Lovato – Sober

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