Tamara Willems

to the (wo)man behind the curtain…

What I’m thinking about today is exposure…
and the old adage ‘seen and not heard’
or really what seems to suit me more,  possibly heard
and not so often
seen

on a day in which a quick thought to change a profile picture
from colour to black and white
leaves one feeling somewhat over-exposed
(never a fan of cameras aimed in my direction)
as comments start to trickle in from
kind-hearted friends
instead of a glowing, I feel rather like the curtain has just closed
behind me, and I am left standing on the outside edge
of the stage
face starting to flush
or you know, poised to begin,  but the music
hasn’t started, isn’t
starting…
as I scramble for the gap in the curtain so that I might
slip right through
the strange dichotomy of seen… but not
seen
or is it look…  but not too closely…

often it is the same for things that I write
and share
in the thoughts and words that tumble out
on to a page for public viewing
I find myself posting and then quickly I duck back
behind the curtain again
before anyone realizes
it’s
me
then I’ll peak briefly out just to see how
it’s being
received
if…

it is not in me to in any way attempt to outshine
or show off
I do not selfie
that is just not my way
I guess, it is the vulnerability of us to offer ourselves up
for inspection
not for lines and cracks (as they are undoubtedly there)
seek and ye shall find
and not even for judgement or ridicule
(although that’s always a  possible thing)
I guess my intention is this,
whether I have offered you a glimpse of myself,
or my garden
or most often my heart
hopefully what you have found is
recognition
In the soft places, in the gentle places
even in the
imperfect places

maybe it’s a gentle kind of
encouragement
a nudging
in the many ways we allow ourselves to be seen
my hope always, is that we find the courage toward open-hearted
kindness
for it is here our true gifts
are found
and indeed our true beauty

and when at times we find ourselves feeling a little
blinded by the light
(even of our own being)
suddenly forgetting our steps
wishing the curtains would just
close..

May we instead find our way within
to the most peaceful of spots
in the garden
where in gratitude for great blessings
we are then free

to  just
wander…  ♥

Leave a Comment