Tamara Willems

further studies of the flower…

I haven’t had enough time to write,
and today I can feel it
in my teeth
not even sure I have the time today
but
I’m doing it anyway
what I’m supposed to be doing
is writing a letter
pen to paper sort of thing
(how very fast a keyboard makes us lazy)
and…  I haven’t got that done
either
yesterday I made my start
salutations and such
then was delightfully interrupted
by
a
baby
(which will undoubtedly capture my undying attention
every time)
the cutest little fellow, I was more than happy
to
entertain
I do find though, when words are wandering
it puts me off getting much else
done
until I have sufficiently attended to
their
composure..  com..posing?
and to this letter writing business,
I begin by apologizing for not keeping in touch better
then quite quickly
scratch this out
I have made it my practice, to
not apologize for my
being
as somewhat private and under-stated
is who I am
I don’t always keep in touch well
I can’t always be
reaching
except perhaps in more delicate
ways
and I don’t waste time wishing to be
different
than I am
as this can quite easily feel like a rather
ridiculous version of
self-abuse
instead,
I regularly acknowledge how very fortunate
I feel to have friends I adore,
and kindred souls who
understand the likes of me
whose hearts meet with mine
and gratefully so
I think too of the assumptions we make
the stories we tell
times we don’t understand
I think of the lengths one will go to
to seemingly
fit in
often giving away small doses of
sanity
I no longer much do the ‘shoulds’
or the ‘supposed to’s’
I am never quite sure where this puts me
in your eyes
but it certainly adds to the
softness
I hope you will find (should you need it)
in
mine

yet one more lesson
from the garden
I guess,
the cultivated flower, the wild flower
the weed
the bold, the brazen, the delicate
beauty
the carefully planted, the self-sown in
the survivors
the pleasant and prickly
the sun seeking and the shady
preside here
in
peace

all are welcome to
shine
and each

in their own good
time

that’s how I like them..

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