Tamara Willems

this is us…

The thing is
I am
not
a very good housekeeper
or actually I don’t believe this to be quite true,
what I am not
is a very neat and tidy housekeeper
I just seem to find much more pleasurable ways to spend my time
than constantly tidying things
up
also I do happen to have relentless allergies
that seem to prefer things kind of
settle rather than me
stirring them up
and as it is I have (not so) recently run out of
volunteers

the other thing is, I can’t really imagine a house,
my house..  our
home
ever being completely spic and span
it just doesn’t feel
right
I will say one thing our house looks
is lived in
which it is ..  by us

we have lived here now for 24 years
we came with a toddler and a baby
and then added two more
we always have dogs and cats as well as a few other
comings and goings, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, birds
turtle, fishes, snails, crabs
we have most every corner full, movies, music, crafts
and books
of course many, many, many books
we have helped family members move, downsize,
move again,  we have gathered up after a passing
another and then
another and brought things here,
we have held on for safe keeping
we have stashed, we have tried to make room
we now welcome new toddlers, babies
and young friends
our lovely house reflects all of this
beautifully

and one thing I try never to do,
is apologize for the ‘state’ of things
as this
is
us

it feels, I think, quite
comfortable

being a fairly private person,
one thing I don’t do very often is
invite
people in

but tomorrow, is my birthday
and we have indeed invited
some dear friends
in

so today, I attempt a little sprucing,
which really consists of moving around streaks of dog hair
in artful arrangements
while our large lovely doggie
who seems to have developed a cough
is currently continuously spitting out stuff
on the floor, I have just washed
and each time he goes out,
he insists on bringing back in a few leaves
and I am quite certain he has no plans for
best behaviour in front of guests,
already allergies are making me feel sick and my face puffy
the tightness in my jaw and internal stress
has me thinking it’s really just so much easier
not doing this
at
all…

as it is then,
I stop for a minute to notice a beautiful mottled grey sky
then step out onto the porch
take in a few deep breaths of fresh fall air
look at the smattering of leaves on the pumpkins
fill myself up…
with gratitude,
I am
home

the thing is,
it’s true
I am not a certain kind of housekeeper
but what I am is abundance
abundance of love, family, comfort, laughter and
kindness
and hopefully this is what meets you,

this is us,
and this
is
what I keep here ♥

now.. what was it I was supposed to be doing ??

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