Tamara Willems

in the weight of losing…

Again we find ourselves surrounded on all sides
by the great weight
of loss
a few days ago a dear heart from high school days
still young enough for us to feel as if
it was only yesterday,
passes away in the night
this morning while I am out to feed the birds,
my husband notices in the paper a familiar face
someone he used to work with
someone who you may have wished you’d kept in touch with
more often…  than not
has died only sixty-one
less than an hour later, a message from my Aunt
bearing the sad news of someone dear to us
come to the end of his long and storied life
hits me hard, with a need to take a large breath
and I say to my husband,
ok now…  that’s enough .

As it is we come into this life knowing, or at the very least (hopefully) learning that we are at any given time surrounded by loss.  That really it is always a possibility, although not one that most of us ever wish to face.  We will most assuredly be touched by it and quite probably deeply changed by it in some way in our lifetime, often many times. 
It can be devastating, heartbreaking, it can be debilitating, though sometimes
it can be strangely
At some time we all come to the end of our journey,
we know not

We succumb, we beat angry fists, we break, we curse
we fold, we crumble, we question the cruelness
of life
we cry… and oh we cry
but also, we reach out, we touch
we shoulder, we support, we
sometimes we do the most life affirming thing we know,

Last night I watch Miss Americana a documentary of Taylor Swift, who may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but is someone I quite like. I have great respect for people who do things .. well. I like her very much for her age, that in her I can see the brilliance, the sometimes un-assured, the messy, the questions of being… just that age,  of feeling the world with your heart. 
Also, I am always completely fascinated by songwriters, (as I am lyrically driven, a self professed lover of words) regardless of your taste in music, this amount of pure talent is to be admired.
However, what I find I am most struck by last night is the amount of flippant unkindness and cruelty.  To watch five or six women sit around a desk and pontificate about a young girl, being ‘so annoying’ to callously and cruelly pick apart someone in such a condescending way – and this is what you get paid to do?  This is how you earn your living?  This is something you can be proud of?  Do you ever consider the person you are so arrogantly attacking?

As I have spoken about so many many times, 
I just DO NOT
And why in today’s society we feel it is our right to be so
Who are we.

I guess my point here, is this
maybe it’s a
instead of the usual ‘thoughts-and-prayers’
the ‘hold-those-around-you-tight’
what if we remind ourselves to tell people how much we value them
now, while we have them
while they

in the loss of a friend, I don’t have to wonder if Allison knew what she meant to me
I have comfort in knowing, she did..  because I told her.

in my own way, I try to make this a priority
tell people they matter
and why
tell them, they’ve touched you
they’ve made you smile, they’ve brightened your day or
your life
tell them often

make it a habit, make it a
and please, please,  make it
a kindness

life is always an uncertain
but living,
living is to be cherished

every day
do it kindly

with love

hardly seems that much to ask ♥

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