Tamara Willems

authoritative things and other myths of my being…

Today I’m thinking about authoritative things,
and things I am expert about
(also known as random thoughts and thinking things
I think, as I wander the garden)

like miracles,
as I am watching the bees in the blossoms on my crab apple tree
amazed by how many different varieties of bee
there are in one spot
a hummingbird appears seemingly out of nowhere
right before my eyes
my face lights up like a child’s
my mouth hanging open in silent gasp
in absolute reverent awe
of wonderful magical things
followed soon after by a slight pang of sadness
for those who may have missed
delight
by simply failing to
notice

like gardening
as I step carefully (as not to disturb) into one of my gardens
and pull up bunches of garlic mustard
I remember someone saying these prolific invaders
to be unwanted pesky intruders
and should be ‘weeded’ out
just now I am wondering who and how it is we or rather I
decided what stays and what should
not
especially while constantly and consistently haranguing my husband
on his need to ‘control’ nature
preferring as I do,  to allow most things to grow heartily
at
will
my own style of a less stressful naturally peaceful habitat
or signs of a lazily, much thinking, dreaming-by-the-day
word wandering poetic observer
in short
sentences
(subjects for today’s google search)

like photos
as I sit in my chair tapping away at words and phrases
while a tiny chipmunk watches from the garden path
directly in front of me
cheeks bulging with seed
then stands up to his tallest proportions on tiptoes
peeking over mounds of violets
making sure the coast
is clear
for more gathering
marvel at the very vibrancy of the Blue Jay
against the backdrop,
a profusion of pink and white blossoms
and wonder how to capture this moment
with my camera inside
still on the kitchen table

like kindness
as I try so very hard to allow large black ants
to go about their business
instead of eliminating them from my personal space
by an ‘accidental’ stepping upon
especially as they cause me no harm
other than my own icky aversion
to them
and their rather annoying
occasional wish to invade my kitchen

also I have completely given up eating meat and fish
of any kind
for the very simple reasons of cruelty and
kindness
I have not eaten red meat or pork for well over thirty years
for digestive reasons
(except for a very brief period of time where the doctor
thought to rescue my iron stores)
but now,  (hopefully) no animals of any kind need be harmed for my body
through a deeply personal connection with beings,
a choice of kindness in the world
I choose differently for me (without judgement)
and this brings me a very natural feeling
of great grounding
peace

and I have taken myself out of the news of the world
in constant diet form
instead preferring  to immerse myself fully
in the news outside
my window (and music)
the sun when it shines, and the
moon, stars
raindrops
things that grow
and beautify
things that make me
smile
and cry
things I can touch, feel, savour
smell
saying I love you and thank you

and how very nice it is
to know you

if I am
at any time, in any way about to conquer the world
with things that I know
with absolute
authority,
I can tell you,

I do know love

and just how it feels

… but maybe that’s all ♥

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