Tamara Willems

a bit of blue and the magic of things…

This morning the house feels muggy and damp,
and outside the sky is a kind of
gorgeous shade of pale grey
every now and again,
a bit of
feels a bit like rain is imminent,
and really is one of those days, you wish
it would just get on with it
come upon a nest, upturned on the table
appears to have been dislodged by last night’s thunderstorm
though no longer inhabited, still saddens one
this week I’ve been feeling, as I do
end of August, early September
rather greyish
I could feel it Sunday night, a bit of dread
fear, panic, anxiousness
sadness for the state of things
disappointment in the popularity of outrage
hatred and ignorance
difficult things happening to good people
dwindling down of a season I love
parents aging and a loneliness of pandemic
and of course willingly accompanying John Lewis
through his telling of the fight for civil rights
troublingly coupled with the current politics south of my border
that try as I might, seem impossible to
where the current modus feels like a rather desperate attempt
to just push for more violence
as a grasping at

all of this is spending far too much time
churning inside my body, just below
the heart
my husband’s quite keen to have friends over
while I (mind full of too many ‘what if’s’)
think myself in need

easily I know what kind of cycle causes this sort of
internal upheaval
I tell him how I’m feeling anxious and overwhelmed,
and how will this end
he tells me to go easy, this is not your problem to solve
which is worded
but I do know what he is trying to say,
as well as I know his heart
just as he knows, that I will still care and question, even sometimes
agonize over
and unkindness

this week too, I watch Won’t You Be My Neighbour,
with my son
a documentary of the marvel that was
Mr. Rogers
a genuinely kind, courageous man who believed
wholeheartedly in the innocence of children
in listening, in learning and in protecting
the goodness of all hearts
so very lovely, this dear man
and I think how wonderfully we two believe in similar
like love
and I am buoyed by this

in the garden, 
I am watching clouds
and brief breaks of
I am planting lilies received this week
in kindness
and when I look up for a minute,
seemingly out of nowhere,
a rather large bubble

a little reminder then,
wherever this may find you,
keep a little love
in your heart

and do stay open
for magical things  ♥

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