Tamara Willems

a reflection in candles…

Maybe a birthday is a perfect time
of
reflection
the numbers racking up with little meaning
in truth, most often unaware of their
magnitude
except of course for tell-tale puffiness
under the eyes
and the constant softening of a
jaw line
a few stiff bits
there is gratitude of course
(this my dedication to life)
that one is here, that one is loved
knows love
feels ever increasingly how very much I am
LOVE

and causes for celebration

I know my worth
and really always have
despite probably somewhere along the way
inadvertently giving bits away
unearned

the fouls of youth

I know I am worthy of respect
something I hold in the highest regard
and do no longer accept watered down versions
of

I know how increasingly I cringe at those who will loudly
tout
their organized religion
who will hammer their words
of righteousness
yet fail miserably to live lives
by their meanings

still,
how much I admire those
who live honestly
and
honourably
through their convictions
inside
and out

I know when I am feeling particularly sarcastic and cynical
indulging myself a little
in the
growl 
try to recognize ego in this
keep the sassy bits, intact
best I can
ride the successes as well as the
falls

I know well too, how very much
I do NOT know
so keep myself always open
to learning and
expanding

I know how the world is damaged
by cruelty
yet softened and mended
by
kindness
and just how much of this I carry
daily

I know how to be good
and kind
and when I have indeed faltered
on
both

I know softness, and gentleness
and
wild

I know simple, sincere
sacred
and sweet

I know where I am
what I am
and
why

most often, I don’t know my age
believe that every obituary should include the word
only
as in only 89, or 35, or 102
only…

I know my heart
it’s where I live
it’s where I love
it’s where
I
am
found

I make it a habit to count the ways I love you
and never
to keep score

and today,
I make it a point
to celebrate
Me
(just as I am)
here and now

indulgently I will surround myself
with love, with a ‘few’ books
and with
cake

cause really,
who
could possibly… ask for more ♥

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