Tamara Willems

to speak with the fishes…

This morning finds me
feeling  
a little unwell 
not sure if it is something I ate 
or just what 
but I am taking it slow  
and gentle 
already my husband is out in the garden 
cleaning up bits he thinks I may not 
notice 
before he is off to teach lessons 
while I am happy to continue my 
sit 
later, take my book and a cool drink 
outside 
certainly, would be a shame to miss out on the 
sunshine 
 
before too long, I am wandering 
slow  
words in my head 
feed the birds, feed the fish, feed the squirrels and the 
chipmunks

mulling over a long conversation with my mother at the weekend
she has been feeling quite lonely 
and as one does I suppose 
with aloneness and age (of ‘pandemic’ proportions) 
lamenting things 
of the  
past 
holding on to guilt 
of things that have been  
carried 
supported, endured 
far more frequently now in conversations   
apologizing  
for the burdening  
 
a rather hefty responsibility this 
the binds  
that 
tie 

I leave these things like crumbs  
on a path 
hoping perhaps that the birds 
will sweep in 
grateful for finding bits that were 
needed 
 
like kindness 
and love 
 
I am again watching the dance of light 
in the garden 
and how graciously it falls 
mid-June, fast approaching the overgrown 
jungle-y stage 
where everything is thick and full 
and nowhere 
do we expect perfection 
where each does its best with the plot 
of earth it is given 
where small acts of kindness 
like sunshine 
and 
rain 
do much for sagging spirits 
and always  
are 
most gratefully received 

I follow the light 
quietly observing, feeling the sun’s warmth on my skin 
and the brush of the breeze  
allowing for most everything 
to float 
free 
 
fill myself with gratitude 
for beautiful things 
that surround
and a
heart 
that can hold 

coming back to sit down 
for a chat with the fish 
a dove 
flutters in and lands at my feet 
surprising us both 
with 
presence  
 
and knowing ♥

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