I tell you this as the wave of
internal anxiety begins
to
creep in
I mean, again, tis the season and all that
but really…
who has time for this
of course my jaw’s been tight for days
and despite yet one more birthday nudging me ever further from
teen years
my face has broken out
threads of patience may be thinning
and impossibly sore hands have me
close to tears most evenings
easily recognized
the hamster wheel that spins between
stomach and
chest
the constant going over of lists
afraid of forgetting
something
worries for a daughter, that I miss
results
in dismal procrastination
that proves never to help
a
single
thing
other than furthering
concern
last night late, trying to get a cake decorated
I consider begging for some kind of mercy
from these minor ails
handles, lids, taps and doorknobs
and please… must this dull creature attaching itself
to my shoulders, tightening the screws
on my
jaw
coming up through my chest, and seeping through
skin
require so much
of my
attention
instead,
I resolve to a mindful softening
becoming conscious of
breath
give less audience to the boxing match
of unconfirmed inequities
one foot in front of the other
kind of thing
I get on…
this morning, quite early
I stand outside, looking up at the sky
breathing in lovely fresh cold
air
thoughts on zero
except for putting love
into the world
here’s hoping that wherever you are
however these December days may be
hitting
that kind thoughts will reach you
that love indeed
touches you
that you are safe
and
that you are
well
and just in case,
might I also share
a conscious breath, a little cover-up…
and some lovely
chocolate cake
to get you through ♥