Tamara Willems

to the business of fathering ….

how does one become a father
when circumstances surrounding having
been fathered
are less than ideal

when certain examples of
how not
to be
as a father
as a person
take the forefront

when hurtful words and hurtful actions
become the memory
but hopefully not
the legacy

perhaps one then chooses to take those aspects
of a man
to be admired
the initial basis of human kindness
the good times
and there are those

from a brother
who shares a good heart,
good humour
ingenuity and know how
and a
strong work ethic

from a friend’s Dad
who takes one in
in teenage years, when
you have butt heads
with your own

from a good friend,
just a little bit older
a one time boss
whose good sense, great humour
and shining example of just what a
good husband and
father of two remarkable young ladies
looks like
maybe unknowingly
this friend
instills a beacon of good light

as time passes
this man
this extraordinary man
through his own good nature
acquires many friendships
that bolster and sustain

and through the absolute
and undeniable kindness
of his own generous heart
and good fortune   ( that’s the me part! )
somehow finds himself
suddenly the father of

not just a father
a Dad
a real great Dad

also a remarkable human being
solid and strong
when our first born
somewhat fragile after birth
remained in hospital
for three excruciatingly
long weeks
he strengthened both our hearts
until we
were all
for many years our sole breadwinner
that somehow kept us afloat
with not a complaint
as our intention
had always been
to ‘raise’ our family

constant steadier of our ship

I think it’s safe to say
much admired
(especially by me!)

is it
I guess,

it’s mostly heart
and strength
and kindness

its caring and character

it’s craziness
and it’s fun
and it’s

it’s blindly opening your heart up
to more
than you could possibly

and it’s not perfection
it’s not … never failing
it’s not always being certain of things
it’s not Ruler supreme

it’s none of these

it’s listening
it’s learning
it’s loving
it’s accepting

it’s anchoring
and shouldering

and also

it’s beaming
with Pride

and it’s

because when you get the chance
to witness
the love
in a father’s heart

and see it reflected
in his smile

that can be
the most magical
of a man.

Happy Father’s Day  ♥

(and as it is Father’s Day, this man, my man,  can be seen on a golf course near you)

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