August has a feel
\nI have written about this before,
\nI can feel the summer fleeting
\nthe end of carefree days, the return to school, deadlines
\nand routine
\nand even though my days no longer really change,
\nand I have only one child returning to school this year,
\na son who is looking forward to a final year of University
\nthis feeling still indelibly washes over me
\nunannounced, but never
\nunnoticed
\nAugust indeed has a feel
\nand currently, I
\nhave far too many
\nfeels<\/p>\n
Lately, \u00a0I have been caught in a funk
\nstill reeling a bit from the death of
\na friend
\na beautiful light that while I know has not truly \u00a0gone out
\nhas certainly caused my own
\nto flicker
\na
\nlittle<\/p>\n
too much uncertainty
\ntoo close
\nthat seems to have hit me hard,
\nat a time of ebb
\nand not
\nflow<\/p>\n
Am I the wife, the mother, the friend
\nI should be?
\nHave I done enough for my kids, to guide
\nwhen all I know how to be is
\nme?
\nCaught always in a wish to connect,\u00a0 and a need to
\nwithdraw
\nAm I floundering
\nat
\nlife?<\/p>\n
While walking home from the library, hoping to avoid the imminent
\nforecasted downpour of rain
\nI notice the sky above me
\nto one side
\na beautiful bright blue with a very definite straight line of clouds
\ncutting through it
\nto the other side of this line, a dull ominous sort of
\ngreyish – white
\ngloom<\/p>\n
Is this me, I wonder
\nthis IS where I walk
\nalong this line of small streaks of light and fluffy billows
\nand the dull, sometimes dark uneasiness of
\nclouds<\/p>\n
I have been struggling with words
\nhow to put these things down here
\nwithout allowing this weight
\nto permanently attach itself to me
\nwho really wants to know that once again I feel like a hippopotamus
\nwalking along the bottom while trying to keep
\nmy head
\nabove
\nthe
\nwater<\/p>\n
I started these words yesterday,
\nthen today, \u00a0I come upon this\u2026<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u201cI want to be the me I am when I’m not worrying about being some other kind of me.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n and there it is ..\u00a0\u00a0 just what I have been wanting to say, and it is here, this friend possibly unknowingly reminding me quite gently, I know how to and for simple blessings It is not always simple, but those small streaks of light<\/p>\n are still there in the days of being, to August has a feel I have written about this before, I can feel the summer fleeting the end of carefree days, the return to school, deadlines and routine and even though my days no longer really change, and I have…
\na gift given to me this morning by the beautiful Jena Schwartz, Promptress, Poet, Fierce Encourager of Writing & Life<\/em><\/p>\n
\nlends her flame to alight with mine<\/p>\n
\nI know how to do this
\nI know how to be quiet
\nwhen I need to
\nI know how to sift through the feelings of loss
\nand sadness
\nand
\nlonging
\nto allow them in, to sit them down to tea
\nand then
\nto let them
\ngo<\/p>\n
\nsurrender
\nwith ease
\nmy worries for the world
\nand not let them
\nconsume
\nme<\/p>\n
\nI know how to rest in
\nGratitude<\/p>\n
\nfor simple words
\nfor simple
\nkindness<\/p>\n
\nthis
\nI know…<\/p>\n
\nto sustain me<\/p>\n
\nquite simply
\njust the
\nme
\nit really is ok
\nfor you<\/p>\n
\nsee \u2665<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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