\u201cNow is the winter of our discontent\u201d \u2026\u00a0\u00a0 these are the words stomping their noisy boots through my head today.\u00a0 Across and back, and clamouring in my ears.
\nAnd I am in want of a stillness and quiet.<\/p>\n
I don’t even know where they might have wandered in from?
\n‘Tis the approaching season of social engagement creeping in, I am sure.\u00a0 Starting to agitate me a little.
\nPossibly I am getting worse with age,\u00a0 but really I like to believe I am getting better.<\/p>\n
This is me, as always,\u00a0 living with social anxiety or as I like to call it my beautifully strong introverted nature.\u00a0\u00a0 I am not very keen on Christmas parties as such.\u00a0 While I know people look forward to them and enjoy them immensely,\u00a0 for me they are awkward and uncomfortable and I would just always
\nrather
\nbe
\nhome.<\/p>\n
This is not however, an easy message to convey.\u00a0 It is not a reflection of the people I would be sharing an evening with and it is certainly not my intention to offend.\u00a0 It\u2019s just for me, I would so rather be somewhere else.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t suffer from the fear of missing out.\u00a0 I engage in things when I think I can, \u00a0when I need to push myself to go out, I do try.\u00a0 But there are other times, I feel quite confident in my decisions, that this just isn\u2019t for me, and I know when I can feel it \u2026
\nmy peace.<\/p>\n
There are so many \u2018should\u2019s\u2019 in life, and I often wonder who sets the rules, and are they for me?<\/p>\n
I am very fortunate I know, to be loved by someone wonderfully patient and kind, who takes me as I am. (I guess,\u00a0 well \u2013 because he has to!)\u00a0 \u00a0And I am very blessed to have some equally wonderful close friends who I believe share an understanding of my nature, and fully accept it as part of what makes me\u00a0 –\u00a0 me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t socialize a lot, but I do try to keep in touch (perhaps in small ways)\u00a0 and I am genuinely grateful for the blessings that I have, and that I receive.<\/p>\n
Probably my way of stepping out into the world Is here, in this way.. \u00a0as I write.\u00a0 This is how I am able to quiet those stomping boots,\u00a0 noisily tramping their way through my head, as well as the words that follow them,
\non repeat.
\nI sort through, I air out ..\u00a0 and then
\nI
\nbreathe…
\nand this is me.<\/p>\n
This is not \u201cnow the winter of MY discontent\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 –\u00a0 No,\u00a0 this is instead
\nme
\nmost
\nperfectly
\ncontent \u2665<\/p>\n
\u201cI chose the light amidst the lurking darkness. I chose calmness and stillness among a crowd bathing in chaos. I chose happiness over screaming negativity around and I chose to be ME over the temptation of being like somebody else.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/strong> \u201cNow is the winter of our discontent\u201d \u2026\u00a0\u00a0 these are the words stomping their noisy boots through my head today.\u00a0 Across and back, and clamouring in my ears. And I am in want of a stillness and quiet. I don’t…
\n ~ Elizabeth E. Castillo<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1683,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1682","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1682"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1690,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1682\/revisions\/1690"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1683"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}