After a particularly hellish week, I am in need
\nof silence ..
\nmy own,\u00a0 I suppose
\nthe kind of quiet I am seeking is not even an external quiet
\nbut rather an internal one
\ncomplicated situations at work have driven me into a chaotic sort of monkey mind
\nthat refuses to shut itself off
\ntrying to find reason and resolution
\nto issues that are not
\nmine
\nto somehow finding common ground
\nrationale and
\nsimple (or to me seeming simple) Kindness
\nthings pecking away at my brain in constant repetition
\nsituations to be resolved
\nyet beyond my control
\nI am, as well,\u00a0 still feeling the weight of someone else’s
\ngrief
\nand after spending last weekend sick, I am needing to
\ncatch up
\nand yes, all of this reeling In my head, (and always in my heart)<\/p>\n
leaves me to wonder
\nwhy we do this to ourselves<\/p>\n
a lovely friend has invited me for a \u2018girls weekend\u2019
\nand my husband appears rather frustrated with me as he can\u2019t understand
\njust why I am not going
\nit\u2019s one of those times where I think, \u2018why doesn\u2019t he know me by now?\u2019
\nI try to explain how I am feeling spent
\nand in need of
\n\u2018my\u2019 space
\nhome
\nmyself
\nI guess this sounds rather odd, as I spend most of my time here
\nand I do love this friend, and spending some time with her
\nwould be wonderful
\nand fun
\nbut right now, I am in need of my own sort of
\ndown time<\/p>\n
I need to go within
\nto putter around clearing my space
\nof clutter and worry
\nto dust and sweep, rearrange and reorganize
\nI need outstretched arms that touch
\nnothing but open space and
\nbeautiful, serene
\nsilence
\nthis is not to say that my house is quiet, quite the opposite really
\nbut that I myself am in need
\nI need soft
\nand fresh…
\nI need kindness
\nand caring…
\nI need grace,
\nI need
\nrespite<\/p>\n
and so,\u00a0 because I really do care about myself
\nI do myself the honour
\nof caring
\nI take a very large deep breath
\nof peace
\nslowly drowning out the riotous noise
\nin the next room
\nI look out the window, and up at the trees
\ninstead of the cold whipping winds
\ndull skies and pelting freezing rain, quickly changing to snow
\nI am somewhere in the English countryside
\nin a lovely stone cottage
\nor possibly it\u2019s a sprawling gargantuan country estate
\nin desperate need of restoration
\nlooking out at a fantastically wild, largely over populated
\nenglish garden
\ngreen fields,
\nand maybe just a little father on, I believe
\nI can see
\nsome
\nsheep…\u00a0 \u2665<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u00a0Surrey Cottage by Helen Allingham (1848-1926)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After a particularly hellish week, I am in need of silence .. my own,\u00a0 I suppose the kind of quiet I am seeking is not even an external quiet but rather an internal one complicated situations at work have driven…
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