{"id":2072,"date":"2018-05-18T18:34:20","date_gmt":"2018-05-18T22:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=2072"},"modified":"2018-05-19T12:54:55","modified_gmt":"2018-05-19T16:54:55","slug":"all-i-wanted-to-say-was","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=2072","title":{"rendered":"all I wanted to say was …"},"content":{"rendered":"

Often I hear people say,\u00a0 \u201cI never read anything that\u2019s long\u201d,<\/em>
\n (weird huh!?!),\u00a0 anyway if this is you,\u00a0 my apologies, because this story, as it is<\/em>
\n turned out <\/em>
\n long\u2026\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

A few wonderful\u2019s, a couple of not-so-wonderful\u2019s and a bit of sadness \u2026<\/p>\n

The first thing I really wanted to share with you this day,
\nwas something wonderful
\nthat I received from my dear husband for Mother\u2019s Day.
\nAs you might or might not know, I have been writing my blog for several years now
\nwhat started out as a wee bit of sharing, then became a really lovely gift from a very kind friend, who set me up here and quite wonderfully has blossomed I would say,\u00a0 into one of my favourite places<\/p>\n

to wander.<\/p>\n

I started mainly with scribbles on scraps of paper, (which I still do) \u2013 but time restraints and convenience has me more often than not now going directly from my head to my laptop.
\nBeing that I am not a very organized or one might say \u2018smart\u2019 person –\u00a0 I don\u2019t necessarily have any real copies of things I have written in their final stages \u2013 other than what is posted on the blog.
\nOccasionally, I have worried \u2026\u00a0 if anything ever happened to this little spot –\u00a0 I would have no actual record of my writing.
\nLate in the day after a rather uneventful Mother\u2019s Day, day (my husband works on just such occasions) – after dinner, after some of the kids have gone back to the tv, and other devices.\u00a0 My husband brings out a gift.\u00a0 Wrapped in brown paper.\u00a0 Happy Mother\u2019s Day\u00a0<\/em> scribbled in black sharpie on top.
\nI can feel it is some kind of bookish type feel,\u00a0 (my spidey-senses do tingle!)\u00a0 Right away I am thinking maybe a scrapbook from the antique mall full of keepsakes that someone has lovingly compiled,\u00a0 as he does know how very much I would love such a thing.
\nBut when the paper comes off, to reveal a fabulous hot pink binder, full and heavy probably two to three inches thick, \u00a0\u00a0I am indeed intrigued.
\nStill thinking scrapbook,\u00a0 I open the cover and the first thing I see is a picture of my Dad.
\nA great tsunami of a wave of emotion rushes up to bowl me over, as I come to realize –\u00a0 my husband has printed and compiled the pages of my blog.
\nHands to my face, I am somewhat speechless,\u00a0 and when I look at my husband, whose eyes look much like mine \u2013 I can tell this is just the reaction, he was hoping for.
\nIt\u2019s my writing, and pictures well over five hundred he tells me and it\u2019s still two years behind present.
\nI start to turn pages, and I feel like I should be wearing white gloves, like you would see from someone at a museum.
\nI go slowly, gently brush my fingers over the words…\u00a0 \u00a0as soon as each one appears, I can think of what happened here.\u00a0 I say to him, \u201caw, here\u2019s Papa..\u00a0\u00a0 ,\u00a0 and this one is our friend Cowboy,
\nand this.. \u00a0oh,\u00a0 there\u2019s Nancy,
\nthis one,
\nthis one\u2019s Aunt Pat\u201d..\u00a0 written just four days before she died, when I well knew that she was going
\nthen again, here’s my Dad.
\nThere are beautiful ones, and sad ones, funny ones, timely ones, all of them pieces of me.
\nAnd while it might not be what you would call \u2018published\u2019\u00a0 –\u00a0 it feels very much like it is.
\nI feel somehow as if I have honoured myself, here in these words and pictures.
\nAnd such a feeling is this\u2026
\nAnd great love and gratitude for my husband, and this gift.. \u00a0knows no bounds.<\/p>\n

So, I had a plan to write about several things today, yet I\u2019ve probably gone on quite long enough already.
\nHere\u00a0 then are a few of the other wonderful things in brief:<\/p>\n

Apple blossoms
\nbumblebees
\nand
\nbirds<\/p>\n

sunshine, blue skies
\ncomfort
\nand
\nkindness<\/p>\n

And a few not so wonderful,
\nmy washing machine has apparently spun it\u2019s very last spin
\nand the repairman says,\u00a0 it\u2019s not worth it to fix
\n‘You can get a decent replacement for around 500 bucks’, he says
\nlike maybe\u00a0 I have that sort of money laying around
\njust waiting to be
\nspent
\nand also number 2 son, sends a message from
\nupstairs
\nsays a payment is due
\nfor his last two remaining courses
\n\u201cbefore I forget, Mom\u201d,\u00a0 he says
\nand the deadline\u2019s today
\n“Ok”<\/p>\n

After a long day at work, a message from home says,
\nthe dog\u2019s peed on the floor
\nand an army of black ants are trying to take over the
\nkitchen!<\/p>\n

Enough I say,\u00a0 \u201cI HAD SOMETHING WONDERFUL I WANTED TO SAY\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

And then,\u00a0 comes the sad part\u2026<\/p>\n

Last August, we had inherited or sort of unknowingly adopted a cat
\nA cat whose name,\u00a0 well is kind of complicated \u2013 his given name I believe was Rufus, given to him by my Mother-in-law (I think),\u00a0 and she most frequently called him Lucas,\u00a0 which happens to be my sons name, so…\u00a0 awkward!
\nAs my Mother-in-Law is in her 90\u2019s\u00a0 and she decided she could no longer take care of Rufus\/Lucas very well \u2013 he was, “given to us” – by way of,\u00a0 one day while I was away at work,\u00a0 popped into our house.\u00a0 Where I should say, \u00a0we already have two cats and two dogs.
\nOur new guest\/family member whom my daughters renamed Eric, and because he eats so much and in is quite large I call Heavy D, and since number two son came home from university he calls the cat Mo \u2013 has not adjusted so well to our mix, continues to fight with our two cats and for various other health related reasons Rufus\/Lucas\/Eric\/Heavy D\/Mo had to leave us today.
\nAnd as my husband and I knew,\u00a0 very much absolutely breaking the heart of my daughter who loved him dearly, as did the rest of us too.
\nIt is still one of \u00a0the hardest things about being a parent, trying to find the right words
\nthat you know will undoubtedly crush someone,
\nbreak their heart and most probably make them very
\nangry
\nwith us.
\nand there is just no way to make it any easier
\nto face a good-bye.<\/p>\n

Today has been rather rough,\u00a0 on all us.<\/p>\n

So there you have it,
\na few wonderful\u2019s, a couple of not-so-wonderful\u2019s and a bit of sadness \u2026
\nyou know,\u00a0 also known as
\nlife<\/p>\n

and here,\u00a0 as I\u2019m sat down to write this,
\non my favourite kind of day
\noutside,
\nwith the sunshine and the flowers
\na day when we are all feeling a little
\nraw<\/p>\n

my lovely husband brings out lunch
\nfor the two of us
\nand
\nas we sit
\nright beside us lands
\na ruby-throated hummingbird<\/p>\n

and there we are
\nin silent
\nawe
\nand somehow, even today,
\nthe world
\nis wonder –\u00a0 full
\nagain<\/p>\n

so,\u00a0 here i am,\u00a0 trying to write it all down,\u00a0 and maybe once again I haven’t really accomplished much today,
\nbut now I suppose,
\nI have,\u00a0 at the very least,
\nadded another page
\nin
\nmy
\nbook \u2665<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Often I hear people say,\u00a0 \u201cI never read anything that\u2019s long\u201d, (weird huh!?!),\u00a0 anyway if this is you,\u00a0 my apologies, because this story, as it is turned out long\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 A few wonderful\u2019s, a couple of not-so-wonderful\u2019s and a bit of…
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2073,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[52,74,84,26],"class_list":["post-2072","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-gratefulliving","tag-toyouthisday","tag-wonderfulandnotso","tag-writinglife"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2072","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2072"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2072\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2078,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2072\/revisions\/2078"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2073"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2072"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2072"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2072"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}