{"id":2657,"date":"2019-01-11T16:58:22","date_gmt":"2019-01-11T21:58:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=2657"},"modified":"2019-01-11T18:11:13","modified_gmt":"2019-01-11T23:11:13","slug":"holding-on-to-lovely-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=2657","title":{"rendered":"holding on to lovely things…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today I am so mad I could spit
\nbut I won\u2019t,\u00a0 cause that\u2019s kind of disgusting
\nmy ears are plugged
\nand my sinuses are plugged and I think I know why
\nas I am filled
\nwith ruinous indignation<\/p>\n

today I tell my husband, people now have this thing
\nfor setting words for the new year, instead of resolutions
\nI think mine for this year
\nwill be
\nF\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *\u00a0\u00a0 #\u00a0\u00a0 *\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 !!
\nShouted Really LOUD,\u00a0 \u00a0Bold and\u00a0 IN ALL CAPS<\/strong>
\n(funny he knows,\u00a0 as I don\u2019t even write it..\u00a0 )<\/p>\n

today I am internally seething with a caustic outrage
\nat our ridiculous version of senior care
\nwhere there is no best interest of a human being
\nwho has lived a long life and deserves at the very least, \u00a0dignity
\nand respect,\u00a0 human decency\u2026
\nno
\nwhere instead the best interest lies in making money,
\nin convenience and in pushing things into the tiniest possible corner
\nas to not have to face or own mortality<\/p>\n

today I am fuming
\nabout things beyond my control
\nthat are not
\nright\u2026<\/p>\n

while last night I was ready to step into the ring
\ntoday, \u00a0trying hard not to lash out at those I love
\nI am
\nquietly pleading,
\nbegging the universe
\nfor answers\u2026<\/p>\n

slipping into my husband\u2019s big boots
\nI go out to fill the feeders,\u00a0 the morning air briskly fresh
\nand the rather delinquent sun making an early appearance
\nhas the light covering of fresh snow
\ntaking on
\nan opulent sparkle<\/p>\n

deep breath in\u2026<\/p>\n

in utter frustration what comes to me is
\nbe still and know\u2026<\/p>\n

but I don\u2019t know,
\nI don\u2019t<\/p>\n

in matters of money, convenience and denial
\nwhere then…\u00a0 \u00a0 is kindness?
\nhow do we ever keep ourselves\u2026
\nsoft
\nand why is it not already in us
\nto do
\nno
\nharm<\/p>\n

as always then, I take it to the garden
\nmy peaceful place of wisdom
\nand knowing
\ninstead of answers,\u00a0 at the very least
\nexpecting
\nI\u2019ll find the kind of
\npeace
\nthat soothes<\/p>\n

to breathing deep
\nand to an easing
\nof ire
\nI walk…<\/p>\n

today then,
\ninstead of shouting obscenities
\ninto the wind
\nI am taking gentle giant steps in
\nlarge boots<\/p>\n

and finding simple joy
\nin the sight of tiny birdie feet<\/p>\n

in fresh snow\u00a0 \u00a0\u2665<\/p>\n

“For lack of attention a thousand forms of loveliness<\/em><\/span>
\nelude us every day”. ~ Evelyn Underhill<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today I am so mad I could spit but I won\u2019t,\u00a0 cause that\u2019s kind of disgusting my ears are plugged and my sinuses are plugged and I think I know why as I am filled with ruinous indignation today I…
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2658,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[185,102,184],"class_list":["post-2657","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-forthebirds","tag-livinggratitude","tag-wearyworld"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2657","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2657"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2657\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2669,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2657\/revisions\/2669"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2658"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2657"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2657"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2657"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}