{"id":3055,"date":"2019-08-02T16:40:45","date_gmt":"2019-08-02T20:40:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=3055"},"modified":"2019-08-02T16:40:47","modified_gmt":"2019-08-02T20:40:47","slug":"sorry-august-im-blaming-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=3055","title":{"rendered":"sorry August, I’m blaming you…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Somehow it suddenly became
August, and I feel as though I have not sat enough
outside
it is a gorgeous morning, so I sit with coffee
my book and the dogs,\u00a0 the three of us
contentedly drifting
through peaceful pleasures
my husband eventually comes out to join us
fills my cup, tell us about his day yesterday, golfing with friends
I look up at the vast blue sky, with a sly grin, I say to him
uh oh\u2026 one of the neighbours is down, the buzzards are circling
as above I can see six turkey vultures circling the sky
and then they go
a few minutes later, an ambulance arrives at the house
across the street, one of our dear ladies
our yard is such that from outside you cannot see
the street
so I head inside to the big front window, where I stand
and start my silent mantra for our dear one
May you be happy and healthy, May you be safe and at ease
(and whatever the outcome)<\/em>\u00a0 May you be
at peace
this I repeat over and over, until eventually I see the paramedics
walking my neighbour out
and she is off, one would assume\u2026\u00a0 for observation
this lovely lady is forever telling me she is old
and I think of how tiny she looks with a paramedic on either side of her
from my window, I send her
love and kindness to go with her
and them
soon enough my husband is off to teach golf lessons
I have barely had ten minutes with him
I can feel myself
annoyed by this..
no time for connection
also I know I am annoyed by these nasty moods that again
swallow me up
after only a couple of days reprieve
friends have invited us out
and while these are the loveliest of friends
I can\u2019t tell you how much, I am wanting him to go
on his own
mostly I suppose because I
am in a loathsome
pit
and I wonder why it is he cannot hear me
when I am in
need
possibly it is because most of the incessant talking
goes on
inside my body
and I try hard sometimes to not drag anyone else in
here
with me
(too many bullies)<\/em>
so today, for a time
I sit in the sun
I turn my face\u2026 up to the vast open sky
and let the tears
run
down
my
neck \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

May you be happy and healthy
May you be safe
and at ease
May love and kindness surround you<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and above all
however you get there\u2026
(even if it is your own self-induced time out)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

May you be peace \u2665<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Somehow it suddenly becameAugust, and I feel as though I have not sat enoughoutside it is a gorgeous morning, so I sit with coffeemy book and the dogs,\u00a0 the three of uscontentedly driftingthrough peaceful pleasuresmy husband eventually comes out to…
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3056,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[297,298,299,300],"class_list":["post-3055","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-augustmood","tag-mayyoubewell","tag-sititout","tag-writeyourselfwell"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3055"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3059,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055\/revisions\/3059"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3056"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3055"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3055"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3055"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}