{"id":5155,"date":"2025-07-23T17:45:53","date_gmt":"2025-07-23T21:45:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=5155"},"modified":"2025-07-23T17:45:54","modified_gmt":"2025-07-23T21:45:54","slug":"are-you-really-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=5155","title":{"rendered":"are you really here&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Three or four days ago, I quit a book<br>to the faithful few (ha!), you might know<br>this is not something I do<br>often<br>true, I have been in a bit of a<br>reading<br>funk<br>start\u2026\u00a0 stumble through..\u00a0 move on<br>(also not like me)<br>my work day read, is a good one<br>but to read on work days is just little bits at a time<br>on breaks<br>so these are slow and steady kind of reads<br>my \u2018at home read\u2019 has been<br>more of a challenge<br>of late<br>I happened to be reading a book about<br>Elizabeth Barret Browning, and really just beginning to<br>wade my way in<br>however, if I happen to be reading about the 1800\u2019s<br>and the author suddenly throws \u00a0<br>very modern day (to my thinking misplaced)<br>language <br>in<br>it starts to ruin the narrative for me<br>and when it is then repeated several times\u2026<br>my patience<br>is<br>out<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>for me (anyway) language matters<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>so I begin this morning by revisiting words<br>from Andrea Gibson<br><br><em><strong>\u201cMy mother used to knit my mittens<br>too big so they\u2019d still fit me when I grew.<br>I wore them and I\u2019d look like what I wasn\u2019t yet.<br>I feel that sometimes when I\u2019m writing poems,<br>they don\u2019t fit.\u00a0 Ever feel like the best of you is something you\u2019re<br>still hoping to grow into?\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>many of which, as the first time,<br>continue to touch me<br>deeply<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>another beautiful summer day In the garden<br>I make my rounds, and apologies to many spaces<br>as most all things in the back<br>have been well and truly trampled, snatched<br>and sampled<br>by the resident puppy<br>and I suppose that\u2019s ok<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I sit by the small pond, accompanied this morning<br>by a very young cardinal<br>who is quite appreciative to have the bird bath<br>freshly replenished, for his or her<br>(a bit hard to tell at this young age)<br>morning splash<br>the monarchs are a-flutter<br>a large black swallowtail, many cabbage whites<br>and a lovely hummingbird moth<br>I am again missing my camera, for the shots<br>I guess, at this point\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 you\u2019ll just trust me <br><br>I think to myself this morning, the best part of this<br>re-wilding of sorts<br>is in the myriad of insects you see<br>and start to really appreciate<br>the hoverflies, so many different bees, beetles<br>dragon and damselflies<br>waterbeetles, craneflies<br>tiny fluffy white aphids<br>spiders and<br>worms, caterpillars, moths and<br>butterflies<br>cicadas, even ants<br>each playing its part in the cycles of nature<br>whether eating or<br>being<br>eaten<br>and each, so necessary<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>this small white bird house<br>once the home to several families of wrens<br>having fallen from its initial perch<br>now resides on the log table beside me<br>where I sit<br>by the small pond<br>it\u2019s been part of our garden, probably,<br>at least twenty years<br>this morning, with the angle of light<br>just right<br>inside, I notice, for the first time <br>in what remains of  the paint that still clings to the wood<br>a large<br>white heart\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>has me coming back again later,<br>just to make sure<br>it\u2019s still there<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>so, this is what I\u2019ll tell you, my friends<br>language matters,<br>notice matters<br>awareness <br>matters<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>and love,<br>above all<br><br>really does matter<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>from me to<br>you <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>that IS<br>why we\u2019re here \u2665<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>(and you, if you have made it this far,  I really do appreciate You<br>being <br>here)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Three or four days ago, I quit a bookto the faithful few (ha!), you might knowthis is not something I dooftentrue, I have been in a bit of areadingfunkstart\u2026\u00a0 stumble through..\u00a0 move on(also not like me)my work day read, is&hellip; <br \/><a class=\"read-more-button\" href=\"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/?p=5155\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5156,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[850,1133,446,223,469,74,1234,85],"class_list":["post-5155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-growlesslawn","tag-inmyjulygarden","tag-inthiswritersgarden","tag-noticelife","tag-readgoodbooks","tag-toyouthisday","tag-wordsmatter","tag-writelife"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5155"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5155\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5158,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5155\/revisions\/5158"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5156"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamara.tedzplace.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}