what if my heart never stops breaking ..
then I suppose
I shall always see
light
this morning, as many
I am trying to finish my book
while outside my window
beautiful distractions keep calling me
a cold winter breeze is blowing the trees
and as I look, causing the sunlight to dazzlingly
dance on my face
the birds are gathering at the feeder
and on the branches by the suet
sparrows a plenty, a little chickadee
and plump lovely juncos
Mrs Cardinal as usual arrives to tap
at the window, making sure the cat
is awake to the day
the sun glistens through a gorgeous little
chunk of ice on a tree branch
sparkling like a diamond
in my sight
returning to my book
I make my way through the last five chapters
epilogue and acknowledgements
but I am not certain just how much I
have taken in
my mind is wandering back
to a sadness
of heart
to a Mother, who is facing
the most devastating loss
someone I know…
but don’t really know,
we are connected by those
invisible threads of life
and love
children, and family
namely my beloved Aunt Pat and Uncle John
we met once
in their yard, not sure if you remember
when our children were small
and now news that you and your husband
have lost a son,
the same age as one of my daughters
and your own daughter
also the same age as one of mine
has a lost a brother
and there is just no way possible
to imagine
such overwhelming grief
as this
and my heart is aching
for your family
so suddenly
without
tears well
and words stumble and collide
in a massive pile up
in my throat
how to possibly offer
comfort, peace
or Love
in the midst of such
heartbreak
to someone I barely know
except to say
I feel you dear Mother
and my heart aches for you
in your loss
I am keeping you in my thoughts
but how can this possibly
comfort you?
if only I could carry just a small bit
of the weight of grief
you bear
to somehow ease your burden
and in doing so
to offer you light
and Love to surround you
and to keep you
whole
and maybe
we hold tight to those invisible threads
that keeps us
connected
when sometimes, it feels like
that’s all we’ve got
as I write these few words,
I look up to the window
to try and pool the tears
where they gather
I look up, almost to the top
of my very large cedar tree
behind it the sky is blue,
the sun is shining it’s best
behind thick clouds,
and softly my eyes
focus on this
lovely heart of snow
snuggled in
the branches ♥
