this morning as I sit with my coffee and book, I watch a family of cardinals who have gathered at my window it seems to place their breakfast orders. The skies are greying and soon the window is being pelted by raindrops. I reluctantly step outside thinking I’d better rescue my husband’s TV from the bar.
I’ve stepped outside in a ratty old T-shirt with a rather large rip down one side and boxer shorts, my pj’s. I am unable to find my footwear of choice, my beloved flip-flops as the dog has absconded with one – so to this ensemble I instead add my husbands running shoes, at least two sizes too big.
I paint you this lovely picture just so you know that – yes, I wake up just this beautiful – and also to let you know what a delight I must be to our neighbours!
It’s raining quite hard now, and from the safety of the covered patio, I stop to take in the beauty of my garden in the rain. I literally stop, or I am perhaps stopped – in mid-step to breathe this in, to savour this moment. It is quite breath taking.
It has been a tough couple of weeks, losing someone so dear to me. Although I am not wallowing or falling apart. I’m not feeling the gloom of a rainy day even. I am instead just feeling a little uncertain,
feeling a little .. less.
Still, I stop in this moment to watch the rain fall and find immense beauty and nourishment in it’s caressing. A refresh, a renewal of sorts. Like everything in my garden is smiling, arms outstretched in gratitude for this gentle showering, and the roof is melodious in it’s pattering.
It is only a few moments and I return to the house and my chair as a loud rumble rolls across the sky and in this too I find comfort. I do enjoy thunderstorms in the day time. This rumble sounds to me like a breaking up of sorts, a crumbling in the sky of grey clouds perhaps, or possibly even of my heart and the tight grip that has been holding things together.
The blessing this brings me today, is in this breaking, –
this feeling of opening,
a rawness,
a willingness to feel,
to be present,
to savour,
to Love
and then a squirrel pops his face in the window, a brief little hello as he busies himself with the search for the loveliest crab apples, which appears to be near the very top. The sun then decides now is the appropriate time to shine through and draw me out once again, to light … where a gentle breeze welcomes me back and dances on my skin.
I nod my head, and smile,
OK, I say,
breathe this in … …
we’re getting there. ♥