Is there ever a time
when news of
a sudden death of a friend
does not completely knock you
sideways
while I look at the words before me
I read and re-read them
five times
none of it makes sense
how
can
this
be
what is this I am seeing
these words
a note from a sister
eloquent and kind
yet none of it seems
clear
letters and words jumble, and slide into each other
a growing ache in my heart
a rather sharp lump in my throat
a gasping for breath
and suddenly I feel like Alice having just fallen through
the rabbit hole
this friend,
this most beautiful friend
lovingly referred to by both of us
as my
soul sister
and she was
in every sense of the word
we have not known each other long
or maybe we had not known
of
each other long
but the connection of our hearts
was very real
we recognized each other
here
and like so many others
Dianne
very much blessed my life
even as I write this now
I think to myself – and who am I
to speak of such a lovely soul
as she?
we’ve actually never even met
in person
(although I always knew, we would)
yet I count her as a true and very dear friend
and I struggle with the great
hollowness
of just what has been
lost
I have no words
to offer comfort
I have no
understanding…
I have
no
words
instead
I have an ache
and
a lump
an outpouring of tears
that will not stop
and
absolute stunned
disbelief
as I am sat here
grappling
a large beetle flies in and suddenly strikes me
right in the eye
and I stop
to catch
my
breath
and I listen to the breeze
and I look
at the sky
and I see you rising
you know, it is a common phrase
we use in offering our sympathies
‘I am sorry for your loss’
but I don’t want this today,
or any day when I think of
her beautiful smile
and the inherent loving kindness
she offered
when I think of Dianne
and her light
and her love
and our
hearts
I cannot possibly think of a
loss
I will not
lose
for my lifetime
and beyond
I will only ever think of
my gain
And oh how she blessed my life
and again, I will say to you Diana, my lovely friend
as I have said to you so many times before,
“You are the loveliest of light, my kindred! You have blessed me immeasurably with your kind spirit and grace in the world. My gratitude for blessings will always include the wonderful gift that is You.”
To you my dear friend
and beautiful soul sister
as all that you are
becomes
Light
with my greatest
Gratitude ♥
Please can I ask you, if you are reading this – in honour of this beautiful soul – Find a simple way to share some Love and some Light today, just take a moment to be a blessing to someone. as I promise you, you will never, never regret it.
and, to you, may peace find you whole.