How to adequately thank someone for absolute
kindness…
The other night at dinner the gentleman across from me, whom I have just met, and have already taken a strong liking to, asks me,
“What was the most memorable thing for you in the last month?”
At first, I find it a little hard to answer, as I believe I live every day in awe of memorable moments. ( you may have read here)
Immediately, I internally start a mad scramble for an answer more meaningful than the latest butterfly, bird, blossom or simple act of kindness that lit up my day.
Too ordinary or commonplace .. too simplistic?
Upon reflection of recent events, let me now tell you about the most memorable thing in the last month, for me and if you’ll bear with me, in honour of one of our hosts, himself a great storyteller – I shall endeavour to not leave too much out.
As I have much spoken about here before, I am and have always been painfully shy. Not something I ever ‘grew out of’. It might even seem that at the wonderful age that I am now, (never mind) – that I am quite possibly even more introverted, but very comfortable with this. I can say I love and appreciate myself and the nature of me more than ever, knowing my own mind and I no longer struggle (much) with fighting against it.
This past weekend, my husband proposes a brief getaway, a lovely night’s stay at the Texas Longhorn Ranch. Where we are to stay overnight in a covered wagon, as guests of the owners whom my husband has met, done a catering for and greatly admirers, and one of whom I have met and already very much appreciate.
As this is their business, let me just stop here for a brief little ‘promo’:
The Texas Longhorn Ranch http://texaslonghornranch.com – owned by Fred and Gail Cahill is a unique covered wagon B & B for adults, in the loveliest of settings, the countryside of Southwestern Ontario.
Advertised as: “Enjoy some Peace & Quiet… Unwind, Relax and of course Eat Well!
For those of you who just can’t seem to stop long enough to take a breath… relax… see the stars and fireflies… listen to the birds … or just bask in the peace and quiet with a favourite book.”
Now if you happen to follow me here, you might know the above: relax, take a breath, see the stars, fireflies, birds – bask in the peace and quiet … well this pretty much describes my life, and these are things that I do very much appreciate always. Then there is this… “Ever get the urge to get on a horse, ride along the banks of the river…” – to which I say to my husband –
“Uh, No, not doing that.” It is here scaredy-cat me takes over, where something so out of my comfort zone has me quite quickly devouring myself in fear and anxiety. Where I wish to crawl deep inside my skin
and hide.
My lovely husband who knows me well, schedules us anyway for a morning trail ride.
I decide to block this from my mind, and not ruin a nice getaway
with fear.
So we arrive, to the loveliest place, covered wagons nestled in a peaceful surrounding of trees and nature.
The covered wagons are exquisite, upon entering, much larger than they might first seem and so beautifully decorated inside as to exude real luxury.
Outside, first I notice a tree right beside us with a hole that appears as a heart at its centre and I am most grateful to ground myself in this. Then as I look to where I can hear the sound of horses, (and once again fight off a little panic) I spot instead a large brown rabbit on his way to..
somewhere.
Again, I am blessed by nature.
We settle in, admire the scenery and the trees, then head off to dinner, a fabulous meal prepared by Gail, that is beautiful, in no way overly complex, just delicious in flavours, colours and divine goodness – that is more than ample in proportion and fills us to bursting.
And then to the best part of our stay, when Gail comes to join us for a visit, followed soon after by her husband Fred just in from a day’s work done, as well as their son Greg (my friend) and a lovely girl who is staying and working there, Ellie. Now I had not met Fred before, only heard of him – as he seems a kind of legendary cowboy – I was so pleasantly surprised by the meeting of this lovely man, with the very large smile, so much younger than I had expected somehow.
A genuine human being, laid back in nature, intelligent and thinking, an avid book lover (like me) and storyteller – and quite an accomplished man.
It is instantly so very easy to see just why my husband has such a profound liking and deep respect for these lovely people. One feels just a wonderful ease in their company.
Both Gail and Fred, so welcoming, so wonderfully intelligent, and talented, grounded in simple things and kind of heart.
I will fast-forward a delightful evening full of good conversation, a sit by the campfire and the magic of fireflies, even a roasting of marshmallows – to a beautiful morning’s rising. Deliciously fresh soul nourishing breakfast, that (with no disrespect to Gail) starts to blur a little in the growing panic of anxiety and fear that begins to overtake my state of being in the thought of – the morning ride.
I can feel it growing as we make our way to the horses. I do have a real fondness and great respect for animals of all kinds, and I try to explain to my husband that what I am feeling is not a rational kind of fear – it is not a safety issue, it is just currently a building, all consuming anxiety that is internally screaming bloody murder about how very far out of the comfort zone I have wandered!!!!!
It is here we meet Riley who will be leading the ride. Riley is equally as kind and lovely as one would expect to work here for these people and indeed with these animals. She issues us our required helmets. While a few of the other riders, including my husband grumble a little about the need for these – I am more than happy to just follow instructions trying hard to stay outwardly calm, concentrate on anything other than screaming and running away!
(Also, I have long since lost any vanity when it comes to safety – I very much value what is inside my head and am more than happy to keep it safe!)
Then there is Mike, I think one could say, the boss here at the horses – another laid back, kind and very competent cowboy who gives us a briefing on rules and instructions, then assigns us our horses.
At this point I can tell you, I am in complete and full panic mode, as Mike helps me on to my horse, and then goes on to get the others set. Now, Mike knows very well that I am most terrified, but doesn’t let on, he just offers kind instruction and then gets on with his tasks, as I outwardly try desperately to keep my growing panic, from spilling out.
My husband has well informed them of this fact, by way of protection of me, as he can very much tell that I would rather crawl inside of myself .. or him than be here.
(It may be the look of death and abject fear that I give him, when he lovingly smiles my way!?!)
Of course, I am not the first nor will I be the last, to be scared and the people here are quite used to making others feel safe and know very well that the horses are quite capable of doing the same. Intellectually, this I know and I try hard to quell my growing fear with these facts, as I concentrate on not letting a flood of tears escape from under the disguise of my sunglasses. (not at all easy let me tell you!)
And then we start to ride.
It is here, I take a deep breath… I put my absolute trust in the universe. Although I remain a little scared I try (as I do) to leave my head and instead rest in my heart. I offer my horse – Miss Molly, the respect she deserves and soften myself into trusting her kind and knowing nature. I offer her gratitude and appreciation as together we ease our way through.
I let go a little of the fear and panic, and instead take in the great beauty of our surroundings, and what a blessing it is to be here, doing this.
When the ride is finished, of course I am a little relieved, but mostly what I am is full to overflowing with great gratitude … for kindness.
And in this … I swell.
I thank Miss Molly first, I thank Riley, who says she is surprised to hear I was so fearful, “You looked so calm” she says, and I smile.
I thank Mike, for his kindness, and I hope he knows just how very much the kind nature of him is truly appreciated.
My gratitude expands.
It has been less than twenty-four hours. We have not traveled so very far,
and yet…
I am a little proud of myself, I guess you could say – to have moved beyond fear.
But mostly, what I am
is gratitude.
I am grateful
for love,
of a husband who knows me, protects me, comforts me, keeps me safe, more importantly- puts up with me … still loves me.
I am grateful
for nature, for quiet, for gentleness,
for magic and beauty
and also, for that little bit of brave that rests in me, that waits patiently
and lovingly, in my heart
to be my armor
but mostly, always, always
I am grateful
for kindness
It astounds me, it amazes me, it bolsters me, it grounds me
It is the most beautiful blessing
when offered, when recognized, when appreciated
when shared
And always it is for me the most memorable thing.
To Mike, Riley, Ellie, Miss Molly, Buck and the rest of the gang, Greg, Meagan as well as some pretty unique cattle, donkeys, a blue heron, rabbit and fireflies, even to the glory and beauty of the trees, but most especially to our hosts Fred and Gail Cahill –
Our sincere Thanks and gratitude for all of your hard work, genuine hearts and indeed for the very kindness of You.
And to (finally) answer your question, that I think Fred, has been THE most memorable thing for me
in the last month.
from my heart, to you
with gratitude ♥
