Tamara Willems

cracks in the concrete…

(first thing, let me tell you right here 
today, I am annoyed 
knowing this if you feel inclined to read on  
it should be begun
with a suitable 
furrowed
scowl)

I ask him, with a deep sigh
Do you ever wonder about your own 
usefulness  
in the world?

every day, he says, Every…  day 

the nature of his flip answer, means 
that he is not buying in 
to my mood 
(darn) 

the work week left me rather irked 
to begin, 
and today’s grey skies and cool wind 
have done nothing to improve things 
certainly not thinking that I garner any governance 
over weather conditions 
rather that possibly we (the sun and I) 
might be sharing the same moody skies 

instead of acknowledging what it is  
I need 
it comes out in frustration, to my husband  
as a small rant 
about opposite schedules and not enough time together 
just as he is about to leave  
for work 

which of course leaves him absolutely no time 
for any kind of  
fixer- 
upping 

and me standing,  
in the midst of groceries and laundry 
an old blind dog who has become very  
needy 
a large less patient dog sprawled out  
at my feet 
and cats wishing to be fed 
he perhaps knows, there will be ample time 
for me to get over myself 
in service
to the needy 

instead of a leisurely sit with my book 
the washing machine still ails  
so, a trip to the laundromat this morning 
was necessary 
but certainly, there is gratitude 
that even that was available as an option 
 
several hours later into my day 
I take some time 
to sit with the words 
that seem to want  
noting 
(possibly this
is allowing for grace)

yesterday outside the greenhouse 
I stop for a minute 
to notice  
a very small turtle, by the door 
deceased, possibly caught up in a freeze 
I pick it up, in kindness 
not much to it 
off the path, I set it back down in a more suitable 
gentler bit of green 
 
offer a bit of loving kindness 
to the world 
 
let it know 
that I was here  ♥

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