“I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart’s affections and the truth of the Imagination.”
~ John Keats
My husband unexpectedly proposes a date night.
He’s just picked me up from work and I am covered in dirt and wet. I am certain i probably don’t smell too good and I am very, very tired. So before this information reaches my heart, it must first sort itself, in my head.
Initial reaction, is to cringe, turn up my nose and to whinge.
Why should the offer of a hockey game followed by a lovely late night dinner out with someone I love invoke feelings of dread, you may ask? Well, this is the nature of me ..
We seem to live in a culture of constant motion, lights sound, BIG, LOUD, BOISTEROUS, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, DON’T LOOK AWAY, NOTICE ME, BE ENTERTAINED!!!!!
I do enjoy hockey, but the last time we went I found the constant flash of lights circling the arena, flashing colours and images and big booming sound every time there is a pause in play such an assault on my senses. I was completely overwhelmed.
Then there is dinner, and it is out .. in public, and there are decisions and awkwardness, and what if, and what if … and what if…
Now, before you view me as a pathetic mess, this all flashes through my brain in a matter of seconds.
Of course, the offer of a night out with my Love also reaches my heart, and yes, I would follow him anywhere.
And I do.
The evening is wonderful. The hockey game is great, dinner is fantastic, my husband all to myself (well, and of course the rest of the general public) and blissfully we return home. My heart is full.
And this is me,
I live in my heart,
I lead with my heart
I am
my heart
it is always open, and feeling,
which I guess sometimes makes me feel
delicate
That the porousness of my heart
leaves me open to
wounding
That my preference for the quiet beauty of nature
leaves me
sensitive
to overload
That my love for the comforts of home
leaves me sometimes
fearful of the bustling ‘noise’ of the world
of being swallowed whole
trampled
Yet it is in the strength of my heart
that I am guided
that I trust
that I blossom
it is in the giving of my heart
that I
am me.
sometimes I am mush, things touch me and I am moved to somehow share the beauty and wonder that fills me to overflowing. My tears are always close, my emotions strong. Perhaps I am not a good ‘gatherer of friends’, not always social, not always willing.
But I can also be brave,
and fun
and free
and, yes …
here.
To those who’s lives I have crossed paths with, and to you who have honoured me with friendship , I hope that I am somehow able to convey my gratitude always to you for touching my heart.
The large feeling-ness of my heart is always open,
and I will continue to welcome the world in,
in my own small
and ‘just a little quiet please’
way ..
with Love ♥