Sometimes I want to stand
in the
snow
and
scream at the world
WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME LOVE YOU BETTER!!??!!
(or maybe it’s you
or
me)
some days it’s really hard
to
shoulder
because the world has gone mad
and are we all
not
just destined
to
go
with
it
come to the edge
of the most ridiculous cliff
beginning to feel
half frozen ground, crumbling
beneath our feet
glorified schillers peddling undisguised snake oil
padding pockets of greed and those who will stoop
to kiss the hems
completely nullifying any sense
of
simple
survival
at what point do we leave every little thing
that scares us
dumped out, like the contents of an overstuffed
bag
search through the mess for
that one
bit
of human kindness
and find ways,
to hold on
on a trip to the city
I wonder to myself, why it is
we keep building self-storage units
by the dozen
yet, still cannot seem to solve
affordable
housing
I sit in a theatre, reeling a little
from the gigantic-ness of the screen
the loud, surrounding
sound
in a chair built for comfort,
but not
for
me
part way through the previews, I realize
that I
am
holding on tight
gripped, I guess, in
the world’s
discomfort
perhaps (or most assuredly) screaming still,
on the inside
I make a conscious effort to
uncurl my fingers, and relax
my
hands
sink… in
to a story
in the morning, a very small peep
breaks in to my consciousness
almost like a flash of light
through the closed window
I realize this
is my woodpecker
my husband has moved the suet
and this dear little downy is no longer
in a direct line of
sight
from my chair
but for the direction of
one remaining golden leaf on the
honeysuckle
I spot him
heartening
currently everything feels
too much
and I
bustled and bothered by it all
lacking in the will
to champion
am feeling
like a scrunched up ball of
discarded
paper
life has been too much
and I
myself
may very well be, out of scraps
to offer
then today, the woodpecker
and the little chick-a-dee
at the feeder
a few deep breaths
of cold, fresh
January air
and I think instead to stand in the snow
and whisper, thank you
and I love you
to all
of the open sky
and trust that these small delicate flakes
falling down on me
come with
some kind of
gentle
blessing
wondering still
if this
may be
too much to ask?
Stay well, Stay open
Stay kind 
