Tamara Willems

all but lost…

Yesterday, I sat for most of the day
which is bad
for a softening body
but I was intent
on finishing
a  
book

outside was wet and windy
anyway
not really fit
for
wandering

if you are female, and a writer
and I will call myself a writer here
as this
is how I sort out
heavy thoughts in my
head

today my thoughts are this,
if you are female, and a writer
how do you not eventually
write

about sexual assault

when statistics read like 1 in 3
and I

am

1

how do you not tell of
the fear
and
the shame
that raise the tiny hairs on
your skin

the kind of special mud
and tape
one might use
when cracks begin to show
in ancient shields
of armour

the white hot rage that builds
when a young woman is put on trial
for six weeks
exposed over and
over
and over again

gladly mutilated
by five teams of lawyers

not however, on trial
the false masculinity,
the brash immaturity and blatant
brutality of her
perpetrators
and those who think they will
help a buddy
with lies, excuses and memories conveniently
wiped-
in no way
whatsoever… 
clean

stick-to-the-story-stick-to-the-story-stick
to-
THE
STORY

Boys and men are not on trial
and women
are not
believed.

who will carry the burden
of just what has been
lost

in the
shredding
of the human spirit
and yet one more, miscarriage of justice

deny your shame
by all means, stick to the story
but make no mistake
this
is yours to carry

some days
the nature in which we conduct ourselves
in how we repeatedly treat our fellow
humans
at all violent and self-serving costs
to protect and better
only ourselves

leads one to believe
we

are
a despicable lot.

And how then
does one continue to cradle
the heart

from a complete
shattering

only in a false sense of silence
and by resting oneself
in love

because
sadly, maybe… this

is all
I know ♥

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