Tamara Willems

to somehow finding our way …

news this morning
hits my husband first
and then to me

the sudden and completely unexpected death
of a friend
a wife
a mother

and we are left shocked
and saddened
sat in stunned
silence

I am suddenly
covered in goosebumps
hands are ice cold
and I am shaking
unable to process…

the mind races
the heart aches
a son without his mother
a husband without his
partner
a family,
without …

and friends,
and friends,
and
friends

it can’t …
I can’t …
doesn’t make sense
my stomach turns
and I feel sick

I can hear your voice
I can see your smile
that lights into a
lovely sarcastic grin
that laugh!

not a delicate flower
a straight-forward
sharp shooter
yet beautiful
in the very real sense
of herself

not inclined
to mush
but oh so kind
and caring
just the same

I have a fondness
for strong intelligent women
and as she knew – great nurses
and wicked sharp wit
and Nancy was indeed
all of these things

we shared a love of books
the transformation of children
husbands
and
home
life

how to possibly balance
the elation in my own home
this morning
with the absolute
devastation
in yours

it’s so hard to process

this news

it’s not right
it’s NOT RIGHT
IT’S
JUST
NOT
RIGHT!!!

how do we..
how can we..
how..

Hold on to each other
that’s all I know
hold hands
hold hearts
hold
together

and be gentle

I don’t know how we find comfort
I don’t
know

I just know
when it’s shaky ground
we’re on
when words don’t come
don’t seem …
enough

it’s good to
find a hand
to hold
and be held

and be kind

because
we really do
need
each other

we really do ..

and so I’m sending Love
wherever you need it
most

today,
with a heavy heart

I’m sending Love.

in loving kindness and peace, my friend ♥

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