Tamara Willems

the lustre of mid-day to objects below…

There is a place in the yard where I stand…
when outside
has become a wintery wonderland
it is between two towering yews, when heavily topped with snow
they bow their branches together to form an arch
of sorts
and because I am not so tall,  in this place I fit most perfectly
it is lovely, reverent, almost cave like and serene
and it is here I feel a beautiful peace envelope me
although facing the street,  in the magic of my quiet, peaceful, private little
hollow, I remain almost unseen
and safe
all outside sound is muffled
I smile full of child-like joy to have this secret place
for just
the freshness of new fallen snow makes it easy to breathe
and so, for a few extra moments
then I step out of my favourite spot, shake the snow off my head
and get on with the shoveling
my husband is hard at the heavy stuff on the end where the snow plow
has been
and I take on the neighbour’s walk way and drive
I amuse myself by noticing that while my husband is working hard
I am a delightful constant commentary
on how lovely the trees look,
and just look up at the clouds!
it’s so beautiful out here,
oh, there’s the Blue’s calling
as well as brief chats and some love for the dog (our moral support)
I guess it is easy to tell which one of us is doing the bulk of the work
when we finish, my husband is ready to go in for coffee
while I take the camera, and
I can feel, I am needing this time of quiet beauty
and breath
as I stand in the middle of the snowy garden looking up at the trees
I am reflecting on loss
and how it is one could process a partner of fifty-three years
no longer
and just how quickly and unsuspectingly one’s life can change
I look up at the sky, and I can feel the tears streaming
and for a few minutes I think of just how much sometimes it hurts
to have a heart
so I stand, and tears fall
slowly and gently,  I suppose, easing the ache
the silence is suddenly broken by a rather noisy blue jay calling
the dog barks
and my love calls from the door
“coffee is ready”
I dry off my face and neck with my mitten
as the sun begins to shine through the clouds
I close my eyes
I feel a very deep gratitude,  I see the beautiful smiling face of a Mother of heart
and much kindness who touched my life
I send out a silent prayer for her husband and family
for comfort and for
I am grateful for love, and accepting the inevitability of
I am thankful for the catharsis of tears
the very real comfort of friends
the extraordinary healing power of hugs
and too for a heart that breaks so completely
yet never loses sight
of the pieces, to
I am grateful for beauty
for kindness
and for

I am grateful for fresh fallen snow
and the magical blessing of hidden hollows
and spaces to breathe
where I,  am drawn
to becoming


Where ever you may be today…   maybe take just this moment
find your place ♥


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