Today I am annoyed
with myself… as much as any
I am annoyed by my hands
fingers that won’t uncurl, as they should
one on each hand, that then get caught on things
and others that
hurt
the morning’s headache and
the tightness of my
jaw
I can palpably feel my annoyance,
and that
annoys me too
intuned enough to know
the cause of the
unrest
the rhythm, the ebb
the flow
I recognize the days of feeling anxious,
tears just below the surface
of worry
sitting heavy on my chest
and wildly churning up
inside
the wish to retreat
push my chair further into the corner
and wrap myself up to the chin
in blankets of warmth and
kindness
let the crazy world go on
without me
because today… I just don’t have the strength
or is it, far too much unbridled fury
(*exaggeration at its best, Please stop me if I’ve said all this before)
knowing, recognizing and feeling
this,
I make it a conscious choice to be
present
to moments of peace
instead
and so this morning, the clouds oblige
by covering most of the sky
not letting even the tiniest beam
shine through
and the breeze acquiesces
in a gentle intermittent sort of
sway
allowing subtle
stillness
between
among the flittering of sparrows
a dove comes to sit
on a branch, by my window
and the dog rests his head
on my foot
there are days that call us to the practice of
loving kindness
to ourselves
when we are wise
to listen
to offer ourselves tender,
loving care
so that, should you perhaps find yourself
needing,
just that sort of
quiet corner
by the window
I
would already have been there
and I would gladly wrap you up
in my
blankets of kindness
and have left a few cookies
by your chair ♥