This morning, I am in a mood.
In all honesty, I could feel it coming on, last weekend
I said to my husband
“I am a woman on the edge”, in my effort to give him fair warning
Lay low
several times in the past few days I have felt my short fuse
casting sparks in all directions
a short blow out with my daughter, left me feeling
disastrous and shrew like
wavering between brutish-like outsides,
and dastardly insides
I am conscious of when this hits, and why
I try to be aware when it starts to creep
but still
sometimes it feels cruel and unnecessary
in the flow of a peaceable life
perhaps it is to keep me humble, in not thinking that
all life is ease
perhaps it is to remind me to breathe
deep
instead of boil
this morning, the dogs want in,
the dogs want out
the dogs want in… and again
out
the cats once again wage battle in the kitchen
disrupting my efforts to sit, with my coffee
and read
and I am no longer holding peace talks, but rather dolling out orders
in dictatorial threats of damnation
I am annoyed by a picture on the wall (depicting Love no less)
that my husband has hung too low
out of balance
(months ago)
I have a painful bruise on my elbow and one
on my calf, that certainly beg to be constantly
hit
I am annoyed by my red toes with bits of holly, that do not have me
feeling festive
at all
I believe I am in need
of
pink
and though I am not appearing in the least welcoming
the dog decides she needs to sit on my lap
nudging my book out of the way with her head
followed soon after by our rather large cat
who too now, has decided to move in
perfectly unfazed by my scowl
he makes himself comfortable, taking most of the space
he begins to purr loudly and then stretches up and bites
the charm that hangs from the chain around my neck
this charm is a yoga pose call Sukhasana, also known as easy pose
and it is there as a gentle reminder to my days
the cat purrs, the dog settles in and as I am unable to return to my book
I gaze out the window, at the sky
I watch the clouds
I think of the message I have just received from my very dear friend
to say that her beloved Nanna has passed, quite peacefully away
in the night
and I think of a couple of slightly short-sighted, self-absorbed teenage girls
who sometimes crinkled their noses at an old persnickety Granny
(of course when you are teenage everyone is old)
and now
how very long and endearing her life
to my friend as she grew, the great exchange of love and connection
given and received by this remarkable woman
that they both honoured, respected and expanded
in the gift
of presence
that even now in grief
there is a blessing
of kindness
and
peace
to both
so there it is, my ease
to cease fighting with
myself
and my moods
to breathe deep, and
to be gentle with my day
send loving thoughts to my friend
and to expand my circle of compassion
to include you
where you need it
(psst… we all need it!)
and
as the sun breaks out from behind the gathering of clouds
might I send you
Kindness, Love, Peace
and always in
Gratitude
Brightest blessings for your day ♥
Sukhasana (Easy Pose): Although this seated posture looks simple and even commonplace, when you practice it with a clear intention, Sukhasana has the power to draw you deep inside, leading you toward a meditative state and revealing the immense joy present within your heart.