I’m standing outside in bright morning sunlight
camera in hand
a brief stop on my walk of gratitude
I am trying to zoom in on a tiny flower that has caught my eye
mild frustration or possibly disappointment sets in
as today, what comes out is mostly a blur of colours
just can’t seem to steady myself
long enough to get the shot I wanted
instead, I leave it
and continue my walk
Two things happen this week
one, again a friend inquires about my ‘skill’ with the camera
and I have to explain that really I have
very little
most times, for every one clear picture
I may have ten .. not so clear
In part it may be that even though my camera has many lovely and one must assume very useful buttons
I really only know how to zoom and which button I press that does indeed
take
the picture
and then there is of course, the challenge of just
staying still
the other thing this week, was a very personal situation
that seemingly came out of nowhere (although I suppose not really)
either way, it has sort of
knocked me
unsteady-ed my boat
or at the very least caused a sudden internal retreat
and then there is
me
and I suppose the fact that sometimes…
I am not
so steady
(a fairly universal feeling, I think)
I am a person of questions
I think… of reason
but often too, as many, I am certain of the fact that most times
I have no idea
what I am doing
I have a very grounded spiritual foundation
I practice a life of deep gratitude
when I am uncertain
I ask questions, I try to open myself
to allow
for
answers
it can take me some
time
it can take some searching
I am not perfect and most certainly not all knowing
I know this
however,
when answers do come
I can feel peace
as it washes over my weary self
almost like a much needed
exhale…
answers don’t always mean solutions
sometimes the answer is just
to
trust
so this I do
I look again at my blurry picture and decide not to toss it
it may well be a lovely work of
art
and then I turn my attentions to a tiny bud
just starting out
I breathe and I try again
to be
still
what I see is, that
sometimes what anchors you to grace
can feel like the very thinnest little
thread
but still it has enough
strength
to hold you steady
until you can regain your
balance
and when I see…
these then
appear to be the strings
of my heart ♥
