I recently spent the evening out with friends. I know for most people this is not news, it is however for me not something I do so very often.
Yet this occasion was for very dear friends, and a celebration of love – and those two things combined, have me hook line and sinker!
The only issue for me here, (as I have written about many times) is being a rather shy-ish type person, I am abominable at small talk. I mean, listening to or adding something to a deeper conversation.. I’m in, but the initial dreaded – ‘think of something to say here to make this feel less awkward’ – I got nothin’. The horrible part of this is, it often makes me feel like the person involved probably wonders why they stopped to talk to me .. at all.
Having said all that, I try to not let this stop me from ever socializing, as I do really enjoy the company of friends .. especially good friends, or indeed good friends – to be. I marvel at and am comforted by the connection of hearts and minds, and the genuineness of souls who show themselves.
I’m thinking about this today as I begin a new book. A biography that even though I am not very far in, already has me so very glad that this lovely book has found me. I read a lot of non-fiction. My favourite genre being biography and memoir. I like learning from people and about people and just how it is they themselves navigate life. As I suppose, I am always learning how to navigate my own. (aren’t we all!?!)
I’m thinking about sitting with my friend the other night talking and laughing hysterically. Granted we have both consumed a little too much wine, but really we are just enjoying the comfort of a very long friendship. Friends together since barely in our teens, we now relate as wives, as mothers and also as daughters and sisters and the constant navigation of all these avenues.
I’m thinking about other influential women in my life who I have spent time with and felt a great connection to in a profound sort of way. My husband’s Aunt Tina, who welcomed me very early on in the relationship with my then boyfriend and instantly I felt like somehow we already knew each other, and that I had been loved by her for many, many years.
A time I spent one on one with my Aunt Gayle, really listening to and recognizing her – a very intelligent, thinking and funny person – in a whole new way and really appreciating her.
A moment of time I have written about before of standing in the kitchen at the Home Farm, with my three Aunts – Maureen, Annice and Phyllis, after many years, me no longer a child – but as an adult, recognizing these lovely women as sisters, as mothers, as daughters .. just like me, and talking to me, just like I.. was one of them. (the blessing of this, I can still feel)
A time I spent working with my then best friend’s mother, (again one on one) who related to me not as Mrs. Jeffrey, but instead as Sharon and talked to me about challenges in life, and the early years of being a new wife and mother, years before I was ready to experience either. Then last year, attending her funeral and again thanking her for all that she had been to me.
Of course my dear Aunt Pat, who really became a very important person in my life, our mutual unwavering love and support bolstered both of us, just when we needed it most. In later years of her life, through stories, wisdom and very real friendship, she made sure I think, to give me enough to sustain me even now, after she is gone.
I suppose what I am rambling about here is again just a way to say Thank you, what I am thinking about …
Is the sharing of our stories
connections, open genuine-ness, friendship and
love
braving waters, spanning divides, touching hearts
in simple,
comfortable ways
times that might otherwise go
unnoticed
and to you, who connect with me
here
or at any step along the way
my appreciation
and always
my gratitude
as anytime I come to spilling out the contents of my heart
it is always here, I can find you ..
(and me)
as each make up a part of all things that sustain me
in my own
navigation of sorts
and so I wander… ♥