Tamara Willems

too much in your carry on…

How to unpack the heaviness of the things
we carry?

I am known to carry useless things
the weight of the worries of someone else
coupled with my own insecurities
and fears
mounds of things ‘temporarily stored’, growing in piles
upon piles
to be sifted through
at
another time

when sometimes the weight of these things
start chewing little holes
entering
my dreams
I know it is time…

how is it one begins to unpack
the things we unwittingly carry
someone else’s pain and suffering, we are useless to do
anything about
someone else’s questions, more than mirroring our own
without clear answers

holding one’s breath
forgetting to exhale..  enough
filling my baskets with more weight than even I
maybe capable of carrying
hoping that you
will somehow ..  feel lighter
turning over rocks, searching for unknown
solutions

struggling with reaching out,  countered by a very real need
to withdraw
turtle back in,      uncertainties…
and wondering which of these acts of endangerment
merely feeds one’s ego

time to consciously release the tight hold
of my jaw

and ask yet again
for kindness

because if we do not offer each other
kindness, I tell him
we have nothing…

we have nothing

I am aware this is of my own doing
I tend to carry things
with
weight
adopt them,  as my own

today then becomes a rebellious act
of forceful
surrender
in an effort to unpack a few things
I cannot solve

because how else would one ever walk upright
under the weight of
such burdens

if not for the very real presence
of kindness,
of love
and of gratitude

to cushion
the
step ♥

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