Tamara Willems

breathing in spaces

too many words in my head today
and too little time
to sort them through

they flash and swirl
racing around bumping into walls
and threatening to burst
out my ears

then crashing down
in heaps
like discarded clothes
in a laundry basket
tangled
and
twisted

thoughts of things I need to do
and things I need to remember
and things
I
need to
be

words and phrases
swimming and flailing
crashing in waves
on the edges
of me

pictures and colours
snapshots of lives past
the ashen ailing, yet still very much
endearing face
of the late Merle Haggard
tired eyes, nearly colourless skin
relinquishing …
reminding me so clearly
of my own Dad’s
surrendering
of a life

reeling
circling
in a constant endless loop
the need to push it all in
and bolt the door
as my brain has
other matters to sort

an afternoon
of papers and numbers
to be gathered and sent
granted, with my very favourite man
but one who has the ability
to absolutely
drive
me
crazy
when it comes to paperwork
and
organized
receipts

my head throbs
my jaw is tight
Exasperation
closing my eyes
a deep inhale
as I am ready
to blow

breathe in
peace

enter
gratitude

gratitude
for my day
off
for my hero
our tax man

for the company
of Mr. Grey, the squirrel
at my feeder

for the vibrant colour of the cardinal
among the beautiful blues
of the star like scilia
holding strong, despite the sprinkling of snows
it has had to endure
gathering in great numbers
on the lawn

for the luminous silvery moon
that peeked in my bedroom window
last night, just as I lay down
and scattered my pillow
with glistening ribbons
of light

and ushered me to a
delicious
comforting
deep sleep
with a
smile

holding this thought
just here
is enough
to bring me grace

to gather me up
to cradle me in a soft warm embrace
and to bring me gently
back to myself
empty
and yet once again
ever so
wonderfully
full ♥

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