Nearing the end of a post I had just written about this day, suddenly it all just disappeared!! I am left with a very blank screen … and my stomach hits the floor.
Even if I am the only one who reads it – even I never got to read it! (as I just put down the words as they come and read it after I have finished.)
And so, as sometimes happens in life … I am forced to begin again…
I had a dream last night that I had just read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (as I have) and I had miraculously and enthusiastically cleared away all the clutter of my house. (ha!) Extra clothes, gone. Extra books-not even sure what those are- (oh, mon dieu, perish the thought!) are gone. All and any extra stuff, gone. All gone. And I was feeling very free and joyous. Weird, huh? Perhaps that ‘spring feeling’ creeping in.
Rather early this morning my husband leaves the bed. Much too early for my liking, as it is Friday and my day off. I don’t have to answer to the 5:30 alarm. So instead, I turn over and snuggle in to the warm comfort of my blankets and the cat who seems to be enjoying much more than her fair share of my side of the bed.
When I do make my way down the stairs, I find the house still looks much the same, no magical decluttering has occurred over night, and there is comfort in the ‘stuff’ that remains.
Sitting down with my coffee, I find my beloved still in much the same salty mood, he came home with last night. As this is rather rare for him, I decide not to engage, leave him to it and instead sink into my book and soak up a little sunshine.
My husband does not offer me coffee, nor do we lunch together, but that’s ok. He busies himself outside until it is time for him to head off to work. I have just finished a beautiful book about a true and great love and I too can recognize this very blessing, even when it is necessary to give each other a little breathing room.
Anyway, my intention today, is quiet contemplation.
Outside it is a glorious spring day, sunshine and skies the bluest of blue as far as the eyes can see. And spring appears to be ‘springing’ up everywhere.
I take a walk to the library. Find my book, have a brief chat with the librarian and watch a wee little girl toddling about with a dinosaur. Then I double back to find a book for my husband that I know he has been looking for, and to be here, among these walls of words, even when we are not together, still he travels with me. Back outside, a lovely old dog with twinkling eyes, smiles at me as I stop to admire his whiskery grey muzzle. And I am inclined to take his smile with me. As I walk along smiling at the sky, I notice a shooting streak of white ascending straight up. When I pause to wait for traffic, the sun closes my eyes and I can feel my toes start to tingle, as my wings begin to unfurl and twitch. Gently I am ascending too… straight up into the blue.
The sounds of the street, bring me back down to earth and I am able to cross. As I turn the corner I watch as two more streaks of white seem to race across the sky. Smiling, they instantly put me in mind of Sesame Street and the sky writers that would circle around, as we would yell out the letter they had created there. Passing a car lot, I read the names of the vehicles as I go by. I am not a driver, so they are not easily recognizable, but I gather the words in. and roll them around on my tongue. Escape – Es-ca-pay I say out loud like Dori from Finding Nemo, then giggle to myself. (yes these are just the kind of deep thoughts I have while walking along!) Then I notice my sky writers have indeed left me the letter V. “VEE!!” – I shout, while popping a few cinnamon hearts in my mouth. Savouring the spicy tingles on my tongue, I notice cradled there in that V up above is the beautiful moon quite visible in the afternoon sky, and smiling at me.
When I come home, I make my tea and sit outside just to look and to listen to the unfolding wonders in this day. I am smiling at the doves waddling along. The sparrows, juncos and cardinals dart in and out for a brief chitter and a chirp. The starlings gather and quickly empty the suet cake. One playfully dropping bits on to the other’s head from above. Sunshine, blue skies and springs renewal. Sprigs and sprouts starting to appear, buds and beauties on the billowing brink. Changing my focus, suddenly I can see a grey squirrel quietly lazing on a branch. Perhaps we are sharing the same idea today, as he is stretched out and still, possibly observing me. I sit and I smile, he could be smiling too.
Later, after the sun has gone, I settle in to start my new book. Across the room curled up in his chair is my boy Ted, quietly sleeping. Adjusting just a little, he then emits a very long, loud, deep, completely surrendering sigh, and I smile. As this is it, yes this sums up the day, deep satisfaction, in a day spent in quiet contemplation.
As I too surrender to this day,
with a smile. ♥