today I am like sky
sunshine
and clouds
beauty and light
mixing
briefly covered
in
lumps of grey
today I am like air
soft and soothing
lightly scented,
fresh
then cool and
shiverous
today I am like tree
rooted and strong
standing in sun
delicate breezes
tickling my skin
hint
of a scowl
fear of losing one’s blossoms
then tossing them
recklessly
like pinkish white
confetti
today I am like fern
lush and feathery
vibrant
or curled up tight
protected in
bud
yet to unfurl
today I am like sky …. these are my thoughts this morning, as I stand in my favourite spot in the garden, face to the sun. My arms are not outstretched, not raised up. Instead they are crossed over my body. Protecting me? Keeping me safe, perhaps? Or possibly giving myself a much needed embrace.
I try hard to always stay conscious of my moods, to not ‘indulge’ myself too much in my greyness, (out of need for affection, when we are at our least affectionate). That is not say I deny these feelings when they come, it is more that I try to ride the waves that flow and not to fight against a current. In my sometimes feeble attempts to stay on my board, and often when necessary … to just float.
I am looking to the sky, for comfort. I can see the sun shining, the gorgeous blue backdrop, the slow sailing clouds. I see a bird gracefully soaring. As I watch closely to identify this beautiful being, a bug abruptly hurls itself, kamikaze like, right into my eye! When I regain my sight, of course the bird is nowhere to be seen, and suddenly it feels as if something small is biting my ankle!
My sun worship has been broken, and once again the clouds move in.
I turn my face now to tree, there he stands looking at me with those eyes. Is that a scowl? An angry face? Or is he perhaps now mirroring me? Just over my shoulder, my lovely crab apple still holds a few blossoms, and I think of how disappointing that the rain and wind have greatly shortened my enjoyment of her, at her loveliest. I look again to tree. Maybe those eyebrows are questioning. Is crab apple any less beautiful as she dances with wind and sprinkles me in lovely pink and white confetti from her blossoms? Perhaps, she knows, it is her time … to let go.
I know how to find my comfort, to be kind, not only to others, but yes, also to
myself. And just when, this is very, very necessary.
My salve today,
is to be here,
in my garden,
in the quietness of nature,
in the beauty of things I love.
my pond, with the tiny emerging tadpoles.
the birds,
singing songs of Love
gorgeously plump bumblebees
bumbling about,
and there’s toad,
quietly beautifying
his spot
the flowers,
dressed to the nine’s
graciously adorning
my rough edges
quietly I walk
and breathe
deeply
smiling
on the inside
today I am like sky
sunshine and clouds
beauty and light
briefly
covered
in grey
but
vast
and
open
always
and that’s ok. ♥