Tamara Willems

in loving memories…

Yesterday, a morning message from my sister
letting me know that
our Aunt has died
life having come
a peace filled

this touches my day with
sadness of course
but sits
with a rather peaceful sort of

through the day’s commitments
thoughts and flashes of memories
filter in
I am not one of great memory,
rarely recall much, until I am reminded
by someone, most often
my sister,
confident and partner in crime so to speak
of growing up years

our Aunt Phyllis
my Dad’s youngest sister
we, she and I, shared a birthday
and the middle name of Ruth
special thing

I was a
junior bridesmaid in her wedding
to my Uncle Wayne
felt like such an honour
dress fittings, basket of flowers,
hair dresser, lovely handmade dress
brand new

she was a strong woman, my Aunt Phyllis
fun, kind, creative, talented
a lovely Mom, a devoted grandmother
a dear sister, a great friend
a lovely singing voice, How Great Thou Art springs to mind
when I was a young girl, early seventies
I think of
fantastic chunky white platform shoes,
that seemed
so glamourous

s’pose she would have been in her early to mid-twenties then
(seems funny to think of your Aunt so young)

I remember one Christmas, at the Home Farm
of my Grandparents
Aunt Phyllis had made these beautiful angels
seems to me they were made out of tin cans or something
decorated and painted gold
I remember I wanted one so badly

and of course all of us, in the family remember well
her famed
butter tarts
the most delicious, divine things

my first thoughts were of her children
my cousins, and her grandchildren
Aunt and Uncle now,
a remainder of
my dear Aunt Annice,  having lost
a very special sister

while my own sister and I
attempt a reach across the ocean
in consolation

I think of my Dad, a lot
and this morning, I’m thinking
he wouldn’t have taken well, the losing of his sisters
some small blessing, I guess
that he
was to go before

I just know… 
he wouldn’t have taken this one

in the afternoon, I sit outside
by the pond
I call my Mom
let her know, and we chat in memories
and she too thinks about Aunt Phyllis
in her younger days, when my Mom and Dad were first married
at this exact minute
a lovely orange butterfly comes in
like sunshine
and lands on my chest
so close to my face, it
takes my breath, for a minute

and even though I am not so much one who
looks specifically for the suggested meaning
of things
(I take most things… as love)

in an attempt to identify my visitor
I come across this:

Orange butterflies frequently represent transformation, signaling important life transitions…

and for moment I marvel at this,

a slow deep breath in
sit with it,
loving kindness

take it as
a lovely visit

that touched my heart
greatly ♥

I love you Aunt Phyllis,
always xx

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