Tamara Willems

at the heart of perplextion…

Last night, I looked up from the kitchen sink
as the beautiful bright moon
came in to view,
still a few more nights before it appears full
this lovely egg-shaped blob
a three-quarter, I suppose
endears itself
to
me

I think to myself,
(though most probably say out loud
also, to myself)
this one,
may be my favourite

although I am awfully fond of a
crescent,  a perfectly sliced in half,
and a sliver – much like a beautifully lit
smile, high
in the night sky

each phase, seems to catch one’s eye
at precisely the time
of needing

this night,
the rather lopsided egg, looks kind of
soft
around the edges
wanting one to gently cradle it
in one’s palms
for safe keeping…

Well, what to make of a week where
parts of the world
somewhat predictably and certainly not all that
surprisingly, veer off the road
hitting the shoulder and
pummel themselves
through cornfields
of terror, distrust, complacency and
divisiveness
spewing obscenities of hatred, racism, misogyny and
full out lies
and from the sidelines
cheers

my Aunt comments last week, that I
have not posted much
of late
and I can only say, that
it’s been a bit of a tough time

the other night while watching the moon
wispy black clouds blow across
and for a time
that very bright light
is
completely hidden
the sky is
only
dark

and the simple explanation is
this
is where I’ve been

struggling a bit with heaviness
(*it’s a hormone thing)
questions of
viability
coupled of course with the knowing,
yet peaceful
but still heartbreaking death
of my dear dog
and most
the empty spaces that follow
without him
here

it also happens that
life
has been busy
for various reasons
and I haven’t made time
to sit down here
to write

this morning, I enjoy, what felt like
a most needed
lie in
spiritual exhaustion having taken over
at coffee, I watch the sunlight
through golden leaves
the blue jays, and the juncos
the squirrels hiding things in the grass
I slip back in
to the pages of a book
ladled with cruelties, that feels so very poignant
to read

at this time

and wonder just how it is
we will ever,
ever
learn

to care less about selfish
self-serving
oh-so-fragile egos

and more
about loving kindness
and looking out

for
each other ♥

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