to you, with my apologies, if we have just met …
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so, as you may have noticed
I am just not good at small talk
and most times
social anxiety threatens to eat me
alive
my mind racing
faces to recognize
things to say
too many words
and
not
enough
words
rarely (as my husband can attest)
do I not try to convince him
to just go without me
it would be
so much
easier …
I am sure I drive him crazy
but somehow I talked him into
loving me
and this is just very much
a part
of who I am
I am sure for many of us
there are times
when we struggle
with finding
the right words
(maybe, we have recognized each other here)
but if it is to honour
a friend
to comfort
a friend
to support
a friend
to be
a friend
I step into
my brave -ish self
quell my fears
try hard to leave
my noisy head
and instead go into
my
heart
to breathe in
peace
and gratitude
to being just myself
as this is all
I have
to offer
probably, I am not too
chatty
I feel awkward
try not to sound dumb
think of the ‘right’ thing to say …
thoughts start to devour
but when I see you
I recognize you
my friend
and my smile is genuine
my heart is real
and open
and a hug is in fact
the greatest
recognition
of friendship
a touch
honest
and anchoring
it is care
it is comfort
and
it is Love
when I say
it is nice to see you
it really is
Nice
to see
You
maybe we haven’t even spoken
maybe
we
have just smiled
maybe our eyes
have just met
in fond
recognition
still
I am honoured
by your friendship
certain, I often appear
awkward
and unsure
in seeing you
I feel
blessed
centering myself
in gratitude
this is where I choose
to stay
in the blessings
of friendship
in the graciousness
of life
in the beauty
and generousness
of Love
embracing also
the comfort
of being
myself
sometimes,
smallish in words
always
biggish in
heart ♥