I kept myself half-awake
most of the night
words running through my head
of something I wanted to write
of course I think what you’re supposed to do
when this happens, is
get up
and write it down, which I didn’t do
instead I just kept repeating a sequence
of words
as to
not
forget
something to do with
my highest regard and utmost respect
for people who put
good things
in the world
good things like art and music
like photography and pictures
like poems and books
but also like
simple words and beautiful
sentences
things with wit that delight and
tickle
kind things and things like
love
something like… I don’t know how it is, you do
but I do so very much like
the things
you
do
might possibly have stemmed from
listening last night to my second (or more likely tied for first)
favourite song
Clay Pigeons by Blaze Foley
the words of which and the simple genuineness of Blaze’s voice
acoustically carried without the need of
extra bells and whistles
come so very close to inducing tears, every time
(not just when I am quite tired from a hot day’s work)
to write a song, in such simplified terms
in the most gorgeous arrangement of words
and meaning
that remind me of people I have known
(mostly my Dad and my brother)
coupled with knowledge of Blaze’s story
succeed in breaking my heart
open
each time
with such caring for the struggles of
being
art
that touches
also possibly comes again from the weight
of weariness
from taking on too much, from carrying
heavy things
from wondering why it is we cannot simply
provide clean drinking water
to Indigenous communities, or fund
schools or medical care
in the same way
to recognizing the basic facts of racial injustices
over centuries, that we still
have not come
to
right
or maybe I just don’t want to know of your
stance against equality and justice
from your glossy place of
privilege
which negates any need
to
think of others who don’t look
like you
possibly anymore than you care to hear
once again
of my caring for human decency
and
simple kindness
how to keep one’s heart open
in a areas
under construction (destruction, obstruction)
try to put something good in the world
try to leave something here
that someone will see
and know
that you cared for beauty
that you cared about the words that were used
about the hearts without hope
about people that
tried
about smiles
about hugs
about things that you saw
about things that you felt
about nature, and nurture
and things that you
loved
so that someone will know
you were here
caring
in your own small way
nudging the world just a little
at least, in the
direction
of a sunrise ♥